I'll Show You What Home Is (and then I'll ask you to stay)
by Sanctuaria
Summary: "Chirrut," Baze grunted. "You're taking in strays again." "And you love me for it," he hummed. Or, the kid!Jyn spacedads adoption fic no one asked for but I'm writing anyway. Jyn likes to get in fights, Bodhi is anxious, and they have a dog named Kyber. Oh, and she's behind a grade so she has to get extra help, except her tutor Cassian sort of needs just as much help as she does.
1. Congratulations, You Are Being Rescued

**Finals are next week and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. But, on the bright side...more Rogue One fanfic!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, Rogue One, or any of these characters.** **This work is for entertainment purposes only, and to mend our broken hearts after listening to "Your Father Would Be Proud" too many times on repeat, and no copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

 **C** **hapter 1  
Congratulations, You Are Being Rescued**

"Yes, it was him." Jyn knew she had said the wrong thing when the lines around the man's eyes tightened, when his small reassuring smile became forced. He patted her shoulder gently, but Jyn still shifted away, taking two steps backward for good measure.

"All right, thank you for telling me, Jyn." The man in the vest and navy uniform tucked his yellow notepad back into his utility belt, drawing her eyes to the gun holstered there. A Glock, twelve rounds max in the mag, she could tell just from looking. He'd been waving it in front of him like she'd seen Saw do sometimes when he trained other men. She'd be old enough for him to teach her soon. "My name is Detective Merrick," the police officer told her, coming down to one knee so that he was more on her level. "You're safe now."

"I was safe before," Jyn retorted, glaring angrily at the man. "It isn't like you think—he doesn't hit me for no reason."

"Uh huh," Merrick said, glancing down at the sleeve he'd forced her to roll up. The dark bruises stood out clearly against her pale skin, so she pulled it down again, staring at him defiantly.

"We'll get you out of here, somewhere he can't hurt you anymore, so you won't have to cover for him."

"No!" Jyn's arm swung almost before she knew what was happening, hitting the officer in the jaw. "No! You can't take me! I don't want to leave!" Rage and desperation were swirling up in her, making it hard to remember her training, and her hits were sloppy and she couldn't quite remember the first step to putting a man of his size into a headlock.

"Melshi, a little help in here!" Merrick called as he went for Jyn's flailing arms. His partner appeared through the entrance to the kitchen. "Did you get CPS over here or not?"

"No, no, no!" Jyn continued to fight, kicking at the other man as he bent down to help. She felt her knees connect with something hard even as her arms were captured and pressed firmly into the floor. Lead weights engulfed her ankles as well and she found herself unable to move, pinned down by the two men. She writhed against their iron grip. They couldn't do this to her. They couldn't take her away. Saw wouldn't let them. He wouldn't.

"He's certainly done a number on her, hasn't he?" the one called Melshi commented sadly.

"CPS should be here in less than a minute, although at this time of night I think I woke 'em up with my call…"

Jyn worked up saliva in her mouth and spit it at Merrick right as he looked down at her again, getting him straight in the eyes. He jerked back reflexively, a few swear words falling out of his mouth, and Jyn took advantage of the commotion to slip out of the other man's hold as well, scrambling to her feet and sprinting for the kitchen. For Saw.

"Jyn, my child," Saw rasped upon seeing her. His hands were bound behind his back, and he sat leaning against the drawers below the counter.

"Don't let them take me, I want to stay, please Saw I swear I'll work harder," Jyn babbled upon reaching him. "What do I do, Saw?"

The first teardrops had only just fallen on Saw's military-style top—that was bad, strong girls don't cry, Jyn had to be _strong_ —when she was wrenched away from hm by the two officers.

"Jyn!" Saw said sternly. She gulped and stopped crying, stifling her sobs in her throat and making her stomach go all tight and nasty.

"Jyn," a new voice interrupted. A woman stood in the entranceway to the kitchen, someone Jyn recognized immediately. The sight of her social worker instilled a pit of cold dread in her gut. "Mr. Gerrera. We will be taking her with us, pending a full investigation. You know the rules."

"No!" Jyn shouted at Sabine, bringing her fists up and readying for a fight. Sabine would take her away and then she would be homeless again, or bounced around from place to place where no one wanted her. She was wanted _here_. Saw wanted her—he'd taught her to be _strong_.

"You must go with her, Jyn," Saw croaked. She stared at him, betrayed. She'd never known Saw not to fight.

"Let's go," the social worker said, coming forward to take Jyn's hand. Jyn shook her off, crossing her arms, lungs heaving. The tears had dried up out of her eyes, leaving only the fiery anger in her chest, eating her up from the inside. The two officers let her go and stepped past to pull Saw to his feet.

"You going to be okay with her if we take Gerrera to the station?" Merrick asked, rubbing his jaw where Jyn's fist had connected with it. She stuck her tongue out at him impulsively, seeking any small thing she could do to hurt these people who were ruining her life, even if she wasn't allowed to _hurt_ hurt them. He had been observing her training bruises, well, now he had one of his own to match.

"We will. Jyn and I go way back." Sabine gave Jyn what was supposed to be a caring smile. Merrick looked down at her as if he was going to say something. She glared at him. Merrick left.

She watched the police car carrying Saw pull away from the curb through the living room window.

"Come on," Sabine said when its tail lights had disappeared from view. "Gather what you'll need."

"Where am I going?" Jyn spat, climbing the stairs after her.

The social worker looked at her with pity in her eyes. "I don't know yet, Jyn. But we'll find somewhere for you to stay until this is all sorted out."

"I hate you," Jyn told her honestly, the burning in her chest blazing to new heights. "You ruin everything, and I hate you."

"I know."

* * *

The first time Chirrut heard the knock at the door, he thought he had dreamed it. After all, what was the likelihood of someone banging on their door at this ungodly hour of the night? That and Kyber hadn't even stirred from where she snoozed at the foot of their bed, and her hearing was supposed to be even better than his.

 _Ding-dong_. So, he hadn't dreamed it.

Chirrut slid his legs out of the bed and stood up, finally causing Kyber to lift her head. She watched him silently as he pushed open the door to his bedroom, then laid back down with a snuffle, clearly intent on going back to sleep.

And _that_ was why Kyber was a therapy dog, not a guard dog, the lazy furball.

It didn't matter; Chirrut had lived in this house for going-on fifteen years now, and he knew every step of the stairs and the six additional feet to reach the front door intimately. He opened it after flicking on the porch light, which helped illuminate the two shadowy figures standing there to his nearly-blind eyes. One of the figures was tall, the other short. Beyond that, Chirrut could tell little.

"Mr. Îmwe," the taller figure greeted him.

He recognized her by her voice; he had gotten good at that. "Sabine Wren. Is this…?"

"Yes. I apologize for the lateness of the hour, but you were the only ones who fit the bill. We know you laid off on the emergency fostering after deciding to adopt, but…"

"No, no, it's fine, this is why we're still on the list," Chirrut assured her. He heard the heavy footfalls of Baze coming down the stairs after him, his prolonged absence probably having woken him up. "Baze, we have a guest."

"I can see that," his husband replied in a neutral tone. Chirrut kicked him slyly, knowing the grumpiness probably stemmed from the interruption to his sleep.

He addressed the child. "What's your name, young one?"

A sullen voice spoke back at him: "Jyn."

"That's a pretty name," Chirrut told her kindly.

"No, it's not. It's a type of alcohol," the girl said, the buried anger clear in her voice.

"Well, type-of-alcohol, why don't you come inside and I'll show you to your room?" Baze asked. The taller shadowy figure gave the smaller one a slight push, and Jyn stepped over their threshold. "After you," Baze said. A few seconds later, Chirrut could hear two sets of footsteps climbing the stairs—one quick and light, and one lumbersome but with the grunts that indicated that he was taking them two at a time to keep up.

Chirrut didn't have to see Sabine to see her smile; he could hear it in her voice. "I'd forgotten how unconventional you two are."

"Conventional is boring," he said.

"Well, this placement certainly won't be boring," Sabine warned him, tone returning to a soft tiredness. "She's got a file twice the size of any you've fostered before, and three times as bad. Hasn't had the best influences, or much stability. Jyn's a handful on a good day. Here." The shadow moved and Chirrut held out his hand, waiting for her to place the file into it rather than trying to take it from her blind.

"Does Child Protective Services also print their files in Braille now, or will I have to wait for Baze to come back for this?" Chirrut asked in a teasing tone.

"Sorry. Budget cuts," Sabine replied.

"How long can we expect her to be here for?"

"The investigation into her old home shouldn't take longer than two weeks, but in all honesty I don't see that placement working out," the social worker said. "When it's over, we'll revisit her case. Take her off your hands if you'd like and place her somewhere else. An orphanage for a while, if we can't find anywhere willing to take her."

"That won't be necessary."

"You haven't even had her yet," Sabine told him, doubt clear in her voice. Chirrut simply smiled in response. Her hair rustled as she shook her head. "Good luck, Mr. Îmwe." She stepped down off the porch step, heading back to her car. "And have Baze read that file!"

He closed the door, then headed back up the stairs toward where he could hear his husband talking in a low voice. "If you need anything, our door is at the end of the hall," Baze was saying. There was only silence in response. "Would you like your door closed or open?"

"Closed," Jyn said. "And locked."

"Our doors don't have locks," Chirrut told her.

"Hmph."

"Goodnight, Jyn," Baze said. Chirrut repeated his statement, but the girl was apparently done speaking for the night. Chirrut touched his arm after hearing the door close, beckoning him to come down to the kitchen. He turned on the light, pulled out Baze's chair at the dining table, and set the file down in front of it. Then he sat down himself.

"File's upside down," Baze told him. The seat creaked as he sat on it.

"It is not. You're messing with me." Chirrut was proud that he didn't mess up things like that, even being blind as a bat and without the useful tool of echolocation.

"I am," Baze agreed, as always. A rustling of papers reached Chirrut's ears. "Two children in the house now."

"We've had more at a time before."

"Not sure it counts when they're twins and a baby."

"Of course it does. Tell me, what does she look like?"

Baze paused thoughtfully. "She's scrappy." Chirrut smiled. Anyone else would have told him her hair color or the color of her skin, but not Baze. "Small. Underfed, maybe, but definitely has musculature. And a lot of anger to go with it."

"I sensed that," Chirrut sighed. "And her file?"

"Last name is Erso. She's twelve. Held back a grade because she failed sixth, most likely due to truancy…says here she missed over a third of the school year two years in a row."

"We can help her with that," he said.

"We can make her go to school, at least," Baze grunted. "Whether she stays there…"

"What about why she's here," Chirrut prompted.

Baze flipped through pages. "Family history…isn't here. That's odd. Records of her being in the system start when she was six. Eight foster homes in four years before permanent placement at the last one, with a man called Saw Gerrera, when her parents' will was found naming him to her guardianship. In previous homes, she's noted as being unruly, hard to control, sullen, provocative, snarky, violent, reckless, aggressive, undisciplined… She's run away three times, one of which was probably warranted as the father was later charged for improper relations with a different minor." He flipped another page. "She's here because the neighbors called a noise complaint tonight about this Gerrera's house, saying they heard a child in pain…" Chirrut's hand tightened around the edge of the table. "The police are investigating him for child abuse. And it says she punched one of them in the jaw." He paused, then grumbled, "Is there anything this girl _hasn't_ been exposed to?"

"Drugs," Chirrut reminded him.

"Well, that's a relief." Baze sighed heavily. "How long is she with us?"

"Sabine said it would be until the investigation into her previous home was finished—less than two weeks—before they would relocate her to another home or an orphanage," Chirrut said. "I told her it wouldn't be needed."

"Chirrut," Baze grunted.

"Yes, dear?"

"You're taking in strays again."

"And you love me for it," Chirrut hummed.

"Mmph. At least you didn't sign any papers this time."

"How do you know?" Chirrut asked with a laugh.

Baze sighed, standing up. "Let's get to bed. I have a feeling we'll be in for an interesting morning."

"Those are the best kind," Chirrut replied contentedly.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you thought! I only have a vague notion as to where this story will go, so ideas/requests/headcanons about this situation are all incredibly welcome.**


	2. Please Do Not Resist

**Thank you all for your interest! Now, meet Bodhi :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2**  
 **Please Do Not Resist**

It was too soft. Everything was too soft. She was wrapped up in this infuriating softness. Her eyes blinked open slowly, taking in a pearly blue wall and fluffy white bedsheets. Jyn blinked. She rolled over to find herself face to face with a strange boy looking down at her.

Her body reacted instantaneously, fist shooting out to connect— _hard_ —with his face, starting a stream of crimson flowing from his nose. Dark eyes grew wide with pain and fear before filling with tears as he clasped his small hands over the injury, shouting, "Baze! Chirrut!" and running from the room.

She hugged her legs to her chest for a moment, searching her surroundings. Where the hell was she? Why wasn't she lying on her hard mattress at Saw's, in her grayscale room, waking up to his banging on her door before the sun was up? Then all the memories of the night before came flooding back to her and Jyn leaped out of the bed, heading straight for the window through which an inordinate amount of sunlight seemed to be streaming in. She climbed on top of the desk for better access, planting her bare feet on the smooth surface and tugging against the window's seam with her whole body. It didn't budge.

"Please down from there," a calm voice called. She looked over her shoulder to see one of the men from last night—the skinny one, Chirrut, with the strangely clouded eyes. She threw her body weight against the window's sliding mechanism again.

"It's a fifteen-foot drop," the man said.

"So?" She continued to tug.

"Please come down from there," the man repeated.

Jyn could still hear the crying of their other child in the background. "No."

"All right." Chirrut stepped into the room and sat down on the bed. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"No."

"We don't allow punching in this house, Jyn."

"How's that working out for you?" she asked snarkily, throwing herself against the window again.

"That won't open," Chirrut said, ignoring her barb. "This is not our first rodeo, you know." He stood up. "When you're ready, you can come down and have breakfast. Bacon and eggs today, I think."

At the word "bacon," Jyn's stomach gave a strong, hungry lurch, but she ignored it as the man exited the room. She did believe him, at least, that the window wasn't going to budge. The crying was quieting downstairs, but she hopped off the desk and shut the door anyway. Then she surveyed her surroundings again.

There was a cup of pens on the desk. Those she could use. She inspected them quickly and picked the pointiest-tipped one that didn't have a clicking mechanism, then tucked it into the pocket of her jeans.

A momentary panic struck her and she dove for her backpack, digging through it until her fingers struck the small crystal necklace buried deep within. She pulled it out, the leather cord getting caught on her toothbrush before she disentangled them. The crystal was cool against her palm as she closed her fingers around it. For a moment she just sat there, holding it.

Her stomach gave a massive growl and she plunged her elbows into it, desperate for it to shut up before she remembered that Saw wasn't here to hear it. All the same, her heart hammered as she pulled the necklace—the noose, Saw would say—over her head and tucked it underneath her shirt. She shoved her backpack under the bed to hide it before creeping toward the door, opening it just a crack and listening.

" _We'll make sure it doesn't happen again_ ," Chirrut was saying. " _But all the same, Bodhi—you should have known better than to sneak up on a new arrival._ "

" _I was just curious_ ," a new voice said. She presumed it belonged to their son. Before Saw, she'd rotated through in homes that had other children in them, but the other children had never been younger than her. " _I'm sorry_."

" _It wasn't your fault_ ," Baze said. Jyn waited for him to blame it on her. " _We'll just have to give Jyn time and space until she feels comfortable enough to tell us what she needs_." That was…different, but Jyn knew better than to trust it. The punishment would come later, she was sure.

Her stomach gave another growl and Jyn exited the room, closing the door quietly behind her. If these men were willing to give her food, she would take it. Better to formulate her escape plan on a full stomach than an empty one. She followed the voices to the kitchen, making note of the front door to the left of the stairs in between here and there. They all looked up as she entered the kitchen.

"Thank you for joining us," Chirrut said. He was standing at the stove and immediately began scooping some eggs onto a plate. Baze, wearing an apron, sat at the table next to the boy she had punched, who scrunched down in his seat at the sight of her. He still had a small smear of blood below his nose.

A dog lifted its head from being hidden behind the tabletop and growled, showing its teeth. Jyn jumped back but Baze was quicker, grabbing the red collar of the black-and-white dog before it could do anything else. "Kyber," the man boomed in a commanding voice. "Jyn is a friend."

"She is overly protective," Chirrut told Jyn by way of explanation. He indicated the sink. "Washing the blood off of your knuckles may help." Jyn crossed over to it and scrubbed the red off, refusing to look abashed. Baze released the dog after it laid its muzzle back in the boy's lap and he resumed stroking the top of its head. At least it wasn't a German Shepard, Jyn thought, but she didn't like the wolfish look to this dog all the same.

After the addition of a generous three strips of bacon, Chirrut placed the plate down at an empty seat at the table. Jyn approached cautiously and slid it to the opposite end from the rest of them before plonking herself down in the seat and beginning to shovel eggs into her mouth, scarcely stopping to breathe. Baze and Chirrut looked away until she had finished—although she didn't miss the significant glance they gave each other—but the boy stared at her, something unreadable in his dark eyes.

"What?" she demanded, and he flinched. A modicum of guilt bubbled up inside her, but she pushed it down.

"Nothing," the boy managed. "I'm…I'm Bodhi."

She shrugged, not giving a damn what his name was, and set into her bacon, tears strips off of it with her teeth.

"Do you have anything you'd like to say to Bodhi?" Chirrut asked carefully.

Jyn pretended to think about it. "No."

"Jyn." She glared at the man, transferred her glare to his husband, and then to Bodhi. The look in the kid's eyes finally made her break contact.

"I'm sorry I punched you," Jyn huffed. She'd been in trouble at school enough times to know it was over faster if she just said sorry sometimes and moved on.

"It's okay," Bodhi said.

"Don't sneak up on me," Jyn added for good measure. "Ever."

"I won't," the boy promised, looking just terrified enough that she actually believed him.

Chirrut was smiling, and he clapped his hands. "Good. Now all we have left to sort out is the dog. Give her a piece of bacon, Jyn, and trust me, all hard feelings will immediately be lost."

Jyn looked between the last piece of bacon on her plate and the dog. "You can always have more, you know," Baze told her.

Well, no, she didn't know that. It certainly wasn't true at Saw's and as far as she could recall it wasn't true at a lot of other places either. At first she considered the possibility of it being a trick and stuffing the bacon into her mouth anyways, but she couldn't see the point of these men doing so. She gingerly picked up the piece of bacon off her plate and held it out, flat on her palm. "Kyber." The dog bounded over and stuck its wet muzzle into her hand, gulping up the meat. It licked her hand and then placed its paws on her leg, jumping up to lick her face. Startled, Jyn just sat there until the dog had trotted off back to Bodhi again.

"See?" Chirrut said, still with that same satisfied smile plastered over his face.

"You said I could have more," Jyn accused.

"Help yourself," Baze grunted.

Scarcely able to believe her luck, Jyn darted around the table and soon had another plate piled high with the food. Not only was it plentiful, it was _good_.

"That's a weird name for a dog," she said finally when she was scraping up the last of her eggs. Her stomach was now feeling uncomfortably tight, but that was a million times better than hollow. "Kyber."

Chirrut shrugged. "Found it online." For some reason, that made both Baze and Bodhi laugh. Jyn made a mental note that these people were _odd_.

"She's a malamute," Bodhi said quickly, as if he was nervous that Jyn might punch him again for speaking. "That's like a husky, but thicker."

"Pretty close to a wolf," Jyn commented.

"Well, she's not a chihuahua," Baze replied.

She pushed her plate back, completely stuffed. "How about a tour of the house?" Chirrut suggested.

"I'll show you my room, if you want to see it," Bodhi offered earnestly.

A chance to see the rest of the house and find better exits than her bedroom window, _that_ Jyn would take. "Sure," she said, schooling her voice into something akin to nonchalance.

"Cool!" Bodhi said shyly, getting up from the table. Baze and Chirrut glanced at each other, then began to round up plates. Jyn's brow furrowed—they were letting her alone with their son after she had punched him hard enough to make him bleed not an hour ago? An uncomfortable feeling curled up in her gut. Trust. Trust was stupid. They were stupid for trusting her.

"So how old are you?" Bodhi asked as they exited the kitchen. Kyber bounded after them, tail wagging, and Jyn had to remind herself not to flinch away.

She looked at him, debating whether to answer the question, but decided it couldn't hurt. "Twelve."

"I'm nine," Bodhi told her. "But my birthday is in twenty days, and then I'll be double digits too!" He led her to the living room, which was the room just past the kitchen on the opposite side as the stairs. "This is where all the games are kept and we have some cool movies too. My favorites are the ones with superheroes in them, so we have a lot of those. What are your favorite?"

"I don't know." He gave her that puppy-dog eyed look again. "I said I don't know!" Anger coiled in her stomach, along with a deep-seated unhappiness that she just turned into more anger.

"Everything all right in there?" Baze called.

"We're fine," Bodhi chirped back. "Can we have a movie night tonight?"

"I don't see why not," Baze appeared in the doorway. He inspected the two of them and the dog and then went back to doing the dishes.

Bodhi grinned up at her. "See, now we can watch a bunch so you can choose a favorite."

"Oh," was all Jyn could think of to say. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Bodhi smiled, skipping—yes, literally skipping—off into the next room. "Here's the downstairs bathroom!" He pointed to a door at the end of the hall, directly across from the stairs. "And that's the garage."

"How many cars do you have?" Jyn asked, trying not to sound too interested. Foster parents probably weren't too careful with their cars with regards to twelve-year-olds. Saw had taught her to drive at ten.

"Two," Bodhi said. "'Cause sometimes Baze and Chirrut's schedules don't line up at the Whills and they have to take separate cars."

"The Whills?"

"It's a gym they work at. Baze teaches martial arts and Chirrut teaches yoga and meditation." Jyn made a mental note not to start a fight with Baze, although the man was the size of a tank and she probably would have avoided doing so anyway..

Bodhi scampered up the stairs next, so she followed him. He showed her the bathroom—"We share!"—her room—"But you've seen that already"—and his parents' room—"It's not nearly as cool as mine." The boy gestured toward the last unopened door, which he has obviously been saving for last since it was situated in between Baze and Chirrut's and the bathroom.

"Here's my room!" he said proudly. Jyn looked in without stepping inside his space. Deep blue sheets with sea life on them, a wooden desk that matched the one in the guest bedroom. "Look!" He pointed up at the ceiling, which was decorated with a swirl of clouds. "Chirrut paints, so he did that for me."

"Why do you call them that?" Jyn asked suddenly. "Instead of Dad and...Dad."

Bodhi ducked his head. "They're not my real parents. The adopted me. I was a foster like you before that."

Jyn looked at the younger kid with a little more interest. "Really?"

He nodded. "This is my forever home now." Bodhi crept closer, daring to put a hand slowly on her shoulder. Jyn used all of her willpower not to flinch away or knock him flat, and it occurred to her that it looked rather comical seeing that he was half a foot shorter than her. "They're good ones, so you don't have to be afraid. I love them."

"I'm not afraid," Jyn spat immediately, wrenching away. "I'm not afraid of anything." She glared at him defiantly, and his mouth quivered. Kyber pressed her nose up into her hand, distracting Jyn with the sudden cold wetness that when she looked back at Bodhi she wasn't quite so angry anymore.

"I'm sorry I said you didn't have to be afraid," Bodhi said in a small voice.

"Forget it," Jyn muttered. She wasn't long for this joint anyway, and they _had_ fed her a lot of breakfast. The least she cold do was try not to screw up their ex-foster kid. It hadn't occurred to her before, but it explained now how two East Asian men had produced a South Asian-looking son.

Bodhi bounded back downstairs and disappeared into Chirrut's arms for a hug, with Kyber butting around trying to join in. Jyn didn't understand, so she lingered behind on the bottom step and played with her necklace. "Did I scare you?"

"It's okay," Bodhi assured her, emerging from the hug.

Chirrut caught her strange look. "Would you like a hug, Jyn?" he asked softly.

"No, of course not," she replied immediately, eyebrows becoming one angry line.

"They're really nice," Bodhi piped up. "Chirrut gives the best hugs."

"Hey," Baze grunted from where he was scrubbing dishes, still in his apron from breakfast.

Chirrut smirked at him. "Are you telling me you don't like my hugs?" Baze grunted noncommittally, and slowly all eyes turned back to Jyn, offer still open.

She stomped her foot against the floor. "Hugs are for children!" Then she ran up to her room, slamming the door behind her.

Jyn might have wanted one, but girls who needed hugs weren't _strong_. She had to be strong, so she could get back to where she belonged. With Saw.

She certainly didn't need their stupid hugs for that.


	3. Trust Goes Both Ways

**Thanks so much to everyone who is reading this! I love responding to your comments. Hopefully there won't be much of a delay for the next chapter since I'm nearly done with finals now, but as of now it is only half-written. You will get to meet a bunch of other characters you'll recognize though... :)**

 **Also, all cards on the table, I have never found the time to watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars or Star Wars Rebels, so I'm basically just pulling names from the SW-universe to be minor characters in this story without much knowledge of who they are. My apologies if my brief characterizations of them are completely off, but I hope you enjoy seeing them appear in here anyway!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3  
Trust Goes Both Ways**

To their credit, Chirrut and Baze left her alone for a few hours after that. Jyn sat on her overly-soft bed and twirled her stolen pen, staring at the closed door and fuming silently. She wanted to leave, to go back, to return to a house less bright and less false and less warm. She wanted it cold and hard and real—something she could trust.

Saw's hadn't been perfect; she had no illusions about that. But he had cared for her. He had imparted his knowledge to her, taught her the important things like self-defense and wariness and discipline. He was harsh, and his harshness had made her strong. She missed the way he had called her _my child_ , yearned for those moments when she had pleased him and had earned it. No one had ever said that before, after Mama and Papa. No one had wanted to.

According to the clock on her wall, the gentle knock at her door came at precisely 1:23 PM. She didn't answer, just tightened her arms around herself and sharpened her glare.

It was Chirrut. The man stepped in, stopping just past the threshold. "We have some errands to run," he told her. "I would like you to come."

"I don't want to."

"It's not a request, Jyn," the man said. "We hope to have you pick out some things as well. Clothes and shoes, things like that."

"I'm not a charity case," Jyn spat back. Gifts were a trap, making her indebted. "I have a place that I live. It's not here." She turned her back to him.

"We never thought you were," the man replied mildly. "However, we did think you'd like some fresh clothes for school tomorrow, since the only ones you were allowed to bring here all fit into that backpack."

That was better, washing a wave of calmness over Jyn. That was right. Saw had provided everything she needed. It was _Sabine_ who caused her to go without. The learned response to obey overpowered her stubbornness—" _Do as I say, child_ " —and she gnashed her teeth before giving in. "Fine." She swung her legs off the bed and followed him down the stairs, where Baze and Bodhi were waiting. Baze was wrestling with the dog over something, and when he stood up Kyber wore a green vest reading _Therapy Dog - Ask before petting._ Bodhi clipped a leash to her collar as she became distracted with the new task of slobbering all over Jyn's hand.

Jyn ignored the dog and went with Chirrut into the garage, climbing into the back seat. Kyber bounded in after her, dragging a laughing Bodhi after her, while Baze got into the driver's seat. "Are we all buckled?" Chirrut called from the passenger side.

"Yes!" Bodhi chirped. Jyn tugged her own seatbelt over her body with a huff. It clicked into place just as Kyber settled down over the middle of the seat, head resting in Bodhi's lap while her furry tail beat against Jyn's legs with every wag.

"Why is she a therapy dog?" Jyn asked brusquely once Baze had pulled out of the garbage and onto the street. "For your eyes?"

"No, she failed out of seeing-eye dog courses when she was young," Chirrut said with a laugh. "She is here for Bodhi."

"For the same reason we are dropping him off at the doctor's before shopping," Baze added.

Jyn looked at the boy suspiciously, scooting away from him in her seat. "You sick?"

"I have anxiety attacks," Bodhi ducked his head. "Kyber helps me get through them."

Jyn didn't know quite what to say to that, so she stayed silent. Admitting to anxiety was admitting to a weakness. But Chirrut and Baze were still smiling serenely—well, Chirrut was, Baze wore the usual grumpy look Jyn had come to know as his general face—and didn't seem to care.

She stared out the window as they drove, watching as they got into the highway heading north. Jyn wondered if that was purposeful, taking her out of the house for the first time in the opposite direction of Saw's and the neighborhoods she knew. But no, Bodhi's doctor was what they were headed for, and that had been on the books—she presumed—much before Jyn had been dropped into their laps.

"We're here," Baze grunted as he stopped the car. They had arrived in the parking lot of a small shopping center, with a row of low buildings of a more mom-and-pop variety facing large big-box stores on the other side. Among the smaller establishments was a dentistry, and, next to it, the practice of a child psychiatrist by the name of Dr. Hera Syndulla, MD.

Bodhi opened the car door on his side and Kyber hopped out first, waiting patiently once all four paws were on concrete. She seemed to stand up straighter now, tail still held high but with a certain purpose set in her shoulders and the perk of her ears. Jyn climbed out behind Bodhi rather than try to figure out the interior release mechanism of her door, and Chirrut and Baze didn't comment. Chirrut took Kyber's leash from Bodhi and Baze slipped his hand into the boy's in replacement. The malamute gave a small whine as Bodhi and Baze walked away from them toward the psychiatrist's practice.

"Oh, shush," Chirrut intoned, ruffling the fur on the top of her head fondly. He turned his strangely white eyes on Jyn, pretending to look at her. She wondered if he could see anything at all. He certainly moved like he could, or at least like someone who had lived with his blindness for a very long time. "We only do this every Sunday." He waited for a second, as if studying her. "How are you, Jyn?"

"I'm fine," she said defensively, confused by the question. As if she would admit to anything else.

"I understand you may not want to be with us," Chirrut continued.

"I don't."

"…but I hope that you will do your best to give us a chance, as we are giving you."

The calmness in his voice made Jyn uncomfortable; her stomach did a flip-flop. "Whatever."

"You may be staying with us for a while."

"Not if I can help it," she retorted.

"Perhaps forever," he suggested.

Jyn scoffed. "You won't want me. Trust me." She crossed her arms. "Where are we going? Let's get it over with."

"We'll wait for Baze. He should be back soon, unless Dr. Syndulla is running behind."

A few minutes later, Baze appeared, and the three of them headed for the office supply store that was closest first. For having failed out of seeing-eye dog training, Kyber certainly seemed to remember a lot of it: stopping and sitting at the corner and refusing to budge until the walk sign came on, at which point she tugged them forward. Inside the store, Chirrut gathered packages of binder paper while Baze forced her to choose a few notebooks and folders. The large man said nothing when she chose all of them in plain black. Mechanical pencils, a stapler, and an extra eraser also found their way into the cart. "You'll need a calculator," Chirrut said. Jyn picked up a simple one with the four basic functions on it but he shook his head, gesturing towards larger, more complicated versions. "You won't need it this year but you will for seventh grade. Might as well get a nicer one now."

Jyn said nothing but selected one of the ones he had indicated at random off the shelf. It had many, many more buttons than the ones the other kids in her class had used, covered in squiggly symbols that she vaguely recognized but had no idea what they meant. The one that looked like a picnic table missing the bench on one side was the most familiar, but she still drew a blank. Saw had never allowed her a calculator before, saying she should learn to do all of the math in her head.

She wondered if they knew how much of a waste this all was.

While they were in line to check out with a cart full of school supplies—most of which Jyn would never use—Baze checked his watch and then sped off back to Hera Syndulla's to pick up Bodhi from his session. They had paid for everything and had it all in reusable shopping bags by the time Baze and Bodhi appeared. Baze went immediately to Chirrut's side in the parking lot, taking the two bags off his hands while Bodhi knelt to greet Kyber, who was ecstatic to see him.

"How was your session, Bodhi?" Chirrut asked with a smile as they came near to the car.

"It was good," Bodhi said evasively with a glance at her. "I told her about Jyn."

"Ah, good."

She looked away, unsure what to think about that. He could tell his shrink whatever he wanted; it didn't matter to her. "Clothing next!" Chirrut proclaimed.

Inside the clothing store they split into pairs, Chirrut and Bodhi picking up a few things for him and Baze pushing her towards racks of shirts and pants. After much grunting on his part him and flat stares on hers, they finished the youth section with a cart full of unpatterned underwear, black no-show socks, two pairs of dark wash jeans, two black tank tops—which Jyn thought would be good for training when she got back to Saw—two pairs of black leggings for the same reason, dark blue, dark green, dark red t-shirts—two each because she'd refused any other colors—combat boots with good hard soles for kicking, and a pair of tennis shoes.

Baze, pushing the cart, nodded toward the racks of bras they were passing. Jyn felt her face heat up, crossing her arms over her chest as her gaze slipped downward towards the floor, her heart beginning to pound as her vision narrowed. Then she felt the slight touch of his rough fingers against the skin of her arm, nudging, and Jyn realized he was trying to hand her Kyber's leash. "Dressing rooms are at the back of the store," he reminded her simply, turning and walking away to give her some privacy. "Don't run off with my dog." For a moment she just stood there, breathing hard, but managed to pull a few in what she thought was her size off the shelf.

As soon as he had turned the corner out of sight, Jyn took a deep breath, sharp and quick, shoving off the panicked feeling that had momentarily overtaken her. She was alone—alone in a public place with free exits. She could easily tie the dog up around a nearby price-scanner pole, hotwire a car in the parking lot… Or, with all the other people around, beg a ride from one of them pretending she'd been kidnapped.

And she had. Sort of.

She raised her head, looking at the glass doors to the store. Twenty, thirty yards separated her and freedom. Jyn swallowed.

Then she turned back towards the dressing rooms and trudged slowly towards them.

When she was done, she realized she had no idea how to find Baze again, but Kyber seemed to know where to go. If Baze was surprised to still see her here when she caught up to him in the shampoo aisle—giving her three different bottles to sniff—he didn't mention it. Jyn chose the least floral one, as she thought she glimpsed a small smile on his face as he dropped that and its matching conditioner into the cart.

Bodhi came running up to them, Chirrut following behind with an armful of groceries. "All set?" Baze asked.

He nodded. "Chirrut says we have to do one more pass through the clothing section though," Bodhi made a face.

Baze scowled.

"No fashion sense on that one," Chirrut said with a smile. "That's why we have to go back. In case he missed something."

"Chirrut," Bodhi giggled. "You can't even see."

"Which makes it all the more pathetic for him," the man replied, bumping Baze lightly with his shoulder. He gestured to the cart. "See? He let her choose all dark colors."

"You're guessing, old fool," Baze muttered.

The man's grin widened. "Yes...but am I wrong?"

"I like dark colors," Jyn muttered.

"Ah, but Jyn...you would look beautiful in something like this!" Chirrut swept forward out of the shampoo aisle and back towards the clothes, grabbing—and almost missing, so he was blind after all—a lilac top. It was the kind of thing whose prettiness Jyn could appreciate in an abstract sort of way—the type of thing other girls would wear, but she wasn't other girls. She was Jyn, and she didn't belong here.

Somehow it made it into the cart anyway.

In the checkout line, Jyn happened to be looking behind them when she saw it hanging on a rack nearby. She ducked out from under Baze's large arm to take a closer look, allowing herself to get close to the thick fabric without touching.

"That's so cool," a voice said from her side, nearly making her jump. Bodhi.

"Put it in the cart, Jyn," Chirrut said. She looked at him uncertainly, defensive. He smiled. "If the goal of this trip wasn't to find you clothes you would actually enjoy wearing, what was it?" He sifted through the rack to find one in her size, then pressed the brown leather jacket into her arms. It was stiff but soft and cool to the touch as she tugged her arms through the sleeves, wrapped the thick material around her body.

"Thank you," she said quietly as they were walking out of the store. She wasn't sure she said it loud enough for him to hear it—wasn't sure if she wanted him to—but the small tilt of his smile told her he did.


	4. You Want to Get Out of Here?

**Chapter 4**  
 **You Want to Get Out of Here?**

I love this chapter just because Jyn gets to stab someone. I'm not sure what that says about me.

(New foster home, new school.)

As they drove up, Jyn thought to herself that her old school looked exactly as she'd remembered it. Which made sense, seeing as only a weekend had passed from when she'd seen it last—well, a weekend and a day, seeing as she had skipped out of it on Friday. Saw's orders.

Still, Chirrut and Baze hadn't seen it before. She'd given them directions, but still took a little less than forty-five minutes of driving to get her here. It had been surprising to say the least when they'd offered to make the trip every day so that she could finish the year and elementary school where she'd started it. Usually a new foster home meant a transfer. Another first day. But Chirrut and Baze were odd like that, saying that it was up to her whether she wanted to stay or try somewhere new. Jyn didn't particularly like her old school—she hated all school—but at least there she knew whose buttons she could push and how far and which rules she could break without landing her twelve-year-old ass in juvie.

So she'd said Wobani Elementary.

They weren't impressed at first sight, that she could tell. The school was made up of flat gray buildings and a small tan bark playground out front. The black fences were ultra-visible between the buildings, although Jyn knew from experience— _extensive_ experience—that they were to keep bad people _out_ , not the elementary schoolers _in_. From the inside, the fences were actually quite easy to climb.

They had arrived early so that, on Chirrut and Baze's insistence, they could meet with her teacher. Jyn trudged her way to Miss Oolin Muster's sixth grade classroom through the wide, empty hallways. When she came upon the door, Jyn poked her head in. Miss Muster's was seated at her desk, and the puffy-faced woman looked up as the door opened. "Oh, you're back," she said distastefully, a tinge of red coloring the folds of skin that made up her cheeks..

Chirrut pushed past her as Jyn stepped more fully into the room. "Is that how you treat your students?"

The woman scoffed. "I would hardly call her a student; she barely showed up anyway and constantly caused fights when she was here."

Jyn felt a large hand on her shoulder and ducked away, coming up a few feet from Baze. He didn't look apologetic, but perhaps that was because he was too busy staring at her teacher with a grim expression on his face. "Jyn, we would like to speak to your teacher alone. Wait outside, please." He handed her Kyber's leash.

She gave her teacher one last glare, torn between feeling a small amount of comfort that Baze and Chirrut were sticking up for her—although it wasn't like she _cared_ if the old hag appreciated her presence in the classroom or not—and feeling uneasy about what Miss Muster might tell them. Jyn definitely couldn't say that she'd never given her a _reason_ to hate her as much as she did.

Outside of the classroom, Jyn clutched at the leash of the therapy dog and listened at the door, because what else was she supposed to do? "You are her new foster parents, I presume?" Muster asked. "When the school was notified that she was being moved, I was hopeful that meant she would not be returning and was ready to say, quite frankly, good riddance."

"She is a child, not a problem for you to berate and hand off to someone else," Chirrut replied, anger laced in his voice.

"Clearly you haven't experienced the _problem_ Jyn Erso can be for very long yet," Muster said primly.

Jyn jerked her head away from the doorframe as the sound of clomping footsteps reached her ears. It took her a moment to realize three things: the steps were much too large to belong to Miss Muster, they were coming from the opposite direction, and there was more than one set. She spun around.

"Heard a rumor you got snatched by the cops…" the biggest of the three boys said. Sixth graders and in her class, all of them, and he was easily a foot taller than her while his two cronies had at least ten inches. She hated being small. "We were thinkin' you wouldn't be comin' back but I guess that's too much for hoping, huh?" When she didn't respond, he stepped closer. "What's the matter, Jyn? You were always up for a fight before."

"Leave me alone," she said warningly, fists clenching at her sides. He was so close she could feel his hot breath in puffs on her face as he leered down at her.

Suddenly, he began to laugh cruelly, glancing back at his friends. "Hey, I didn't know tomboy Jyn could wear a necklace…" he chortled at them. He turned back to her, reaching out to grab the crystal she had unwittingly placed around her neck. "Did you finally get a new mommy who teaches you to dress right?" Somehow the pen she'd stolen from Baze and Chirrut's was in her hand, and she stabbed him with it, burying the sharp metal tip into his fleshy stomach, feeling the skin puncture abruptly as it gave way. The boy howled in pain, twisting away and falling to the floor, red seeping out onto his white shirt. His friends shouted, one of them coming at Jyn swinging, but before she could do anything about it he was being bowled over by a flying mass of black and white fur, the end of the leash yanked out of Jyn's slack grip. The dog planted its forepaws on his chest, snarling. The other boy ran.

"What in the world is going on out here?" The door to the classroom burst open, Miss Muster barreling out of it. Her eyes fell on Jyn, standing unharmed, the therapy dog pinning down one boy, and the last on the ground, an innocuous-looking black ballpoint sticking out of his bleeding stomach. "Oh my Lord!" She ran to the ringleader, falling down beside him and examining his injury.

"Kyber! To me," Baze called, and the dog immediately released her victim and bounded over to him.

"Are you all right?" Chirrut asked Jyn quietly, barely audible over the howling of the guy she'd stabbed. She nodded mutely.

"What happened?" More people came running. One of them was the principal. He took one look at the injured student and one look at Jyn before barking to his assistant, "Get the nurse!" He faced her, face purpling. "You're done, Jyn."

"What does that mean, 'done'?" Baze asked, taking a half step in front of her.

He looked at her guardians, as if seeing the two of them for the first time. "You're her new foster parents?"

"Yes."

"It means this is the last straw. She no longer lives in our district, so as a public school we have no obligation to keep her." He raised his hand, clearly angry. "And, before you say anything about the request to transfer here that you've filed despite being out of our jurisdiction, the answer is no. She's being expelled."

"For one incident, in which she was clearly provoked by these boys?" Chirrut questioned.

"If it was just one incident, we might— _might_ —show leniency. But Jyn has a list of incidences a mile long in my office, if you'd like to see it."

"We'll pass," Chirrut said coolly as the nurse arrived and began fussing over the boy.

"My decision is final," the principal told him,a sadistic sort of triumph glittering in his eyes. "I want her out of my school. You'll be getting a call tonight if the parents want a full investigation so that they can press charges."

"You have security cameras," Baze nodded toward the ceiling. "They will show the truth."

The principal's mouth twisted. "Yes, they will."

* * *

"You're never going back there," Baze grunted as soon as they were outside. "Not a good place."

"That and the fact that I got expelled. _Bucketheads_ ," Jyn cursed.

"What were you thinking, Jyn?" Chirrut asked. He sounded more concerned than angry.

"He was trying to—nothing. He started it, is all," Jyn replied, glancing down to make sure her necklace was once more nestled _underneath_ her shirt.

"That's no excuse to stab people," Baze remanded her. "You could have really hurt him. Maybe you did."

"He deserved it," Jyn muttered.

"Violence is not the answer," Chirrut told her. "I don't think anyone's taught you that yet. Punching and stabbing—it's not okay."

"Yeah, whatever," Jyn mumbled. "So does this mean I get to skip school for today?"

"Hardly," Baze grunted, and although Chirrut still looked as if there had been more he wanted to say, he accepted the change of topic.

"You'll go to Bodhi's school. We know the administration there and they're of a much different sort than here," Chirrut replied.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, Kyber laying across Bodhi's usual sea and resting her head on Jyn's lap. She put out a hand and gently stroked the top of the dog's head, watching the pale blue eyes follow her movement before latching back onto hers. Kyber had defended her. Oddly, that didn't make Jyn angry, like it usually did when others tried to do so. She may be small, but that didn't mean she couldn't—or wouldn't—fight, and win. She had to stand on her own two feet, beat the stereotypes, break the barriers, as Saw had taught her. But Kyber hadn't judged Jyn's own defensive capabilities, hadn't judged that she was small or weak or vulnerable or a girl—it had just acted, leaped, out of loyalty. The dog defended her like it would Bodhi or Chirrut or Baze. As if she was part of the family.

Jyn wondered if Kyber would miss her when she was gone. How long it would take the animal to forget her sight and scent ever existed.

Jedha Elementary School had no gates. That was the first thing Jyn noticed once Baze had parked in the front lot. The lack of gates would be helpful in her eventual escape plan, if she did indeed choose to enact it at school. The buildings were painted a creamy off-white with navy blue roofs and a large playground on the other side, surrounded by green grass. As they passed an open door, Jyn glimpsed an entire classroom filled with shiny white computers, on which kids younger than her were playing games while the teacher looked on.

In short, it looked nice. Friendly.

Jyn didn't trust it.

They entered the main office, and Jyn took in the layout, knowing already she was likely to be spending quite a bit of time there. "Hello," the receptionist greeted them. "How can I help you?"

"I'm Chirrut Îmwe and this is my husband, Baze Malbus. We talked on the phone about ten minutes ago…"

"Yes, of course," the woman smiled. "Let me just get the child registration papers and then I'll take you to Principal Mothma." She shuffled around in the filing cabinet a moment, then emerged with several sheets of paper and a pen. Baze filled them out quickly, and when he was done, the receptionist took them through another door further into the office. Jyn followed behind them, gripping tight to Kyber's leash. The receptionist knocked on the door labeled _MON MOTHMA - PRINCIPAL_ before ruffling the dog's fur. "Hey there, Kyber," she murmured with a smile. "How you been, huh?"

"You know Kyber?" Jyn found herself asking.

"She used to spend a lot of time here back when Bodhi used to bring her to school with him," the young woman replied. "It's good of course that he no longer needs that, but all of us do miss seeing her around."

The door opened, held to the side by a woman in a white pantsuit. "Please, come in," the principal invited. "Thank you, Cera." The three of them trooped inside, taking chairs on the other side of the large, imposing desk. Jyn sat in a chair in between Baze and Chirrut, Kyber settling down by her feet. Baze handed Mothma the paperwork and she set it on her desk, skimming it briefly. "It's nice to meet you, Jyn," she said upon finishing.

Jyn kept her mouth shut. The principal turned to Baze and Chirrut. "So it is a mid-year transfer from Wobani Elementary."

"Yes," Chirrut nodded.

"And how old are you, Jyn?" Mothma's intense brown eyes refocused on her.

"Twelve."

"And you wanted her placed in sixth grade?" There was no judgement in her voice.

"Yes, that's what she was enrolled in before. However, we would definitely be open to any programs that would help her catch up, and perhaps even move up to the grade proper for her age next year at Yavin Middle School," Chirrut explained. Jyn made a small scoffing noise in the back of her throat—as if she was _that_ smart, to skip a grade when she was already behind—but didn't think anyone else could hear it.

"We'll have to see his and does in her sixth grade class, but it is definitely a possibility," Mothma nodded. "To start, I would recommend that she utilizes our after-school tutoring program. It's a partnership with Yavin, so there will be students there who can help with sixth grade work."

"A good idea," Baze said.

Mothma glanced down at the paperwork again. "All right, everything seems to be in order. If you would take this out to Cera in the lobby, she'll put it in our system and make it official. I'd like to speak to Jyn a moment." Baze and Chirrut thanked her and filed out. Jyn refused to look at her. "I see you were recently expelled from Wobani," she said. "I am a strong believer in the ability of people to change when their circumstances do, and when they are given a chance. However, we have a zero tolerance policy for any form of violence at this school. If your pattern continues, you will first be suspended, and then you will be expelled." There was a pause, in which Jyn still refused to look at her. "Do you understand?"

Jyn blinked, raised her head— _"Jyn, whatever I do, I do it to protect you. Say you understand"_ —

"I understand."

"Good." Mothma stood up, picking up the corded phone off her desk and dialing a few numbers. "Mr. Draven? Yes, could you please send a student to the office? You have a new student who needs to be shown around and then taken to class. Thank you." She turned to Jyn. "You can wait for her in the lobby and say your goodbyes."

Jyn took that as her dismissal and left the office, wondering if she'd ever been in a principal's office before and not been handed punishment before she exited. Baze and Chirrut were waiting for her. "Here's where we leave you," Chirrut told her. "Are you all right with that?"

"It's fine."

"We'll pick you up at five, after the tutoring program ends," Baze promised.

"Okay."

"We won't forget."

"Okay," Jyn said again. Chirrut gave her a piercing look, making her turn away. Had someone ever forgotten to pick her up, forgotten where they'd left her, forgotten that she existed and was in their care? Probably. In one of her old foster homes, not at Saw's. With him, she was responsible for getting home herself.

"Goodbye," Chirrut and Baze said. The former added, "Have a good day at school." The two of them exited with Kyber just as another girl entered. She looked around for a second, then spotted Jyn. Finally, it was someone shorter than her, even if it was only by a half inch. An inch, if one discounted the elaborate braid twisted into an intricate knot at the back of her head.

"Hi," the girl greeted her with a smile. "Are you new? I'm supposed to give you a tour." She nodded. "I'm Leia."

"Jyn," she replied.

"Come on, I'll show you around," Leia said, beckoning out the door. The two of them left the lobby behind, ending up facing the parking lot. After a moment of searching, Jyn's eyes caught sight of Chirrut and Baze still seated in the front seats of their car. They waved. She didn't wave back.

"This is the Multi-purpose Room," Leia informed her, and Jyn turned away to look at the building she was pointing at. "We have assemblies and lunch and stuff in there. And that—" A different building this time. "is the side of the school where the younger kids have classes. Ours is past the playground, so I'll show you that first." Another minute of walking, and Jyn was staring up at a large, brightly painted play structure, complete with red plastic slide, yellow monkey bars, and blue ladders and balconies. Next to it was a set of six swings, all at varying distances from the ground. "Recess is soon," Leia told her, "so you'll get to try all of this out." Finally she led her to the classroom—showing her he nearest bathrooms along the way—and Jyn paused by the door. Her loitering stance was not lost on Leia, who stopped as well before touching the handle.

"What's the teacher like?" Jyn asked. "Anything I should know?"

"He's not the nicest and his assignments are pretty hard," Leia admitted. "But we're learning much more interesting stuff in class this year. He's tough but it's all preparation for middle school, you know?"

"If I get there," Jyn muttered.

Leia looked at her with concern. "Why wouldn't you?"

She shifted on her feet, debating how much to say to this girl. Jyn decided a little honesty was harmless—it's not like she would be here all that long, and even if she was, having someone in her corner wouldn't hurt. "I was sort of...failing...at my last school."

Leia smiled. "Well, I'm sure you'll do better here. A fresh start and all that." She opened the door, revealing a medium-sized classroom with rows of desks all facing the front, which was to the left. Most of the desks were filled, and a stern-looking man in his mid-forties stood at the whiteboard, writing out a complex set of fractions. All eyes turned toward them as they walked into the room.

"Thank you, Leia; you may return to your seat," the man said before shifting his eyes to Jyn. The girl left her side, retaking her desk in the very front. "Welcome. Your name is?"

"Jyn. Jyn Erso." All the stares focused on her made her uncomfortable.

"I'm Mr. Draven. Your desk will be that one." He pointed to one diagonal from Leia, in the second row and slightly to the left of center. Jyn crossed over to it and shrugged off her backpack before plopping into the seat. "Let me finish this lesson on fractions, and then we can talk one-on-one about catching you up." The words themselves seemed nice enough, but the tone with which he said them was no-nonsense enough to make her wary of getting on his bad side. As soon as he released the class to work on their practice problems however, a low murmur of chatter broke out.

"Hey," smiled the boy sitting in front of her, turning around in his seat. "I'm Luke. Leia's brother."

"We're twins," Leia supplied to Jyn's confused look, leaning across to join their conversation.

"Wedge," a tall boy with slicked hair and a mischievous grin introduced himself. He sat behind Leia and to Jyn's left.

"Han Solo." The voice came from the other direction, and this time the boy in question extended a hand to her, giving her a wink and a firm handshake.

"Han, give it a break," Luke laughed, shoving him lightly in the shoulder. Leia pointedly looked away, but not before Jyn caught the roll of her eyes.

"Don't mind them," Wedge whispered to her with mock secrecy. "Han's got a thing for Leia but she's still maintaining that she's not interested in a…" He turned to her. "What was it?"

"Hooligan," Leia and Han supplied at the same time. He looked thrilled. "See, great minds think alike!"

She huffed, returning her attention to her worksheet.

"You should totally sit at our table for lunch today," Luke said, his facial expression obviously willing her to pretend that the last minute hadn't happened.

"Okay...thanks," Jyn said slowly, meeting his honest smile with a small one of her own.

"Jyn?" The moment was interrupted. Mr. Draven towered over her, blocking enough of the fluorescent lighting to cast a shadow over her desk. She instinctively hid her knuckles under the table, eyes darting to his hands to check for a ruler. He wasn't holding one. "Yes?"

"We can go over where you are in our curriculum now." He beckoned to her, walking to his desk. After a moment, and a reassuring glance from Leia, she followed.

So far, not as bad as Wobani.

But that didn't mean Jyn wasn't still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

* * *

 **I love this chapter because Jyn gets to stab someone. I'm not sure what that says about me.**

 **For anyone concerned, it was only enough to break the skin, and yes, she will have to face consequences of some sort for that later, despite Baze and Chirrut's seemingly blase reaction to it in the car. You can trust that they will be discussing the best way to deal with Jyn's overkill use of force at length amongst themselves.**

 **On a happier note...next chapter we meet Cassian :)**


	5. Does He Look Like a Killer to You?

**Hope you're all having a good day! Happy weekend ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**  
 **Does He Look Like a Killer to You?**

After the spelling test—from which Jyn was excused, seeing as she hadn't studied any of the words—came lunch, and she followed Luke, Leia, Wedge, and Han in their class's somewhat-single-file line to the multipurpose room. The twins showed her to their usual table while Wedge and Han joined the short line for cafeteria food. "Jyn!" a voice called from behind her as she was about to sit down. She turned, seeing Bodhi standing there breathlessly. His confidence seemed to melt under the combined gazes of the three older students. "I was just wondering…if you didn't have somewhere to sit…you could eat with me and my friends today?"

It took Jyn a long moment to understand what he was asking, and an even longer one to fumble for a response. "No, but thank you, Bodhi. I have some fri—people from my class that I'm going to sit with."

"Oh, okay." He didn't look particularly put out, just awkward. And glad that she had somewhere to go.

"Is this your brother?" Leia asked.

"Foster brother," Jyn said, at the same time as Bodhi chirped, "Yes!"

Leia smiled at him. "That was very nice of you to offer. I think I've seen you around before?"

The nine-year-old looked at his feet. "Maybe. I know who you are. I, uh, vote—voted for you in the last election."

"Oh, thank you," Leia's grin got broader. "It's good to meet you, Bodhi." He smiled nervously and nodded and scurried off. Jyn sat down at the table next to Leia and across from Luke.

"So you're a foster kid?" he asked.

"Yes. Which is why I might not be here for long," Jyn told him.

"We're perfectly happy being your friends for however long you're here then," Leia said, bumping her shoulder.

She felt the sudden need to change the topic. "Bodhi said something about an election?"

It was Luke who answered, looking at Leia with pride. "It was last spring for this year. She's president of not just our class, but the entire school, 'cause we're sixth graders."

Leia's cheeks reddened. "Han somehow got himself elected vice, but all he does in the meetings is doodle, the nerfherder."

"Nerfherder?" Jyn frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Leia's run out of insulting words for Han that actually exist, so she has to make up her own now," Wedge said, sliding into the seat next to Jyn with a tray of macaroni and cheese, an orange, and a mini carton of chocolate milk. "That's how you know it's true love."

Leia glared. "Shut it, Wedge."

" _Anyways_ ," Luke cut in, "she's going to try for senator next year in middle school too."

"Well…good luck," Jyn said uncertainly, but Leia beamed.

"Thanks!"

Hungry and curious what Baze had packed her, Jyn unzipped her brand new lunchbox. Inside were two reusable plastic containers, one of which held a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and the other a set of thick apple slices. In addition, there was a bag of goldfish and, nestled in amongst everything, a fruit roll-up. She lifted out the sandwich container first, and only then did she notice the small handwritten note on yellow paper at the bottom.

 _Hope you're having a good first day._

 _\- Baze and Chirrut_

The names were even in two different handwritings. The level of thought—of kindness—they'd obviously put into it made her stomach turn, so she crumpled up the note before her classmates could see it and stuffed it into her jeans pocket. Then she attacked her sandwich, devouring it in large, efficient bites that would prevent anyone in the cafeteria who might have wanted to pilfer from being able to do so. When that was gone, she moved on to the apple before finally slowing down to munch on the goldfish. Wedge was only halfway through his mac and cheese.

Feeling mostly full, Jyn's hand strayed towards the fruit roll-up in its metallic green wrapper, turning it over in her palm. Saw would never allow her to eat sweets like this, citing weakness of the body in his rasping voice. She put it back.

"You're not going to eat your fruit roll-up?" Luke asked. She jerked, not having realized someone was watching her.

"No," Jyn said.

"But it's fruit; it's healthy," Wedge teased through a mouthful of cheesy noodles.

"Healthy might be a stretch," Leia laughed with a roll of her eyes.

"Have you tried one before?" Luke asked.

"No, but I don't want it," she said. Jyn paused, biting her lip, before holding it out to him. "Do you?"

"Uh, sure, if you're certain you're not going to eat it." She shook her head, handing it over. "Thanks," Luke said. He lifted his spoon, which he had just dipped into his cup of vanilla pudding. "Do you want some of this instead then?"

"Or some chocolate pudding," Leia offered, revealing the cup in her own lunchbox.

Luke rolled his eyes. "C'mon, Leia, you know vanilla is the best."

"Chocolate."

"Vanilla!"

"Chocolate."

"I'm with Leia," Han supplied.

"Of course you are," Luke muttered, rolling his eyes.

"You're both wrong; the best pudding flavor is butterscotch," Wedge informed them.

"Ew, no," Luke, Leia, and Han all made faces.

"Go away, Wedge," Leia said playfully. She turned the cup of pudding toward Jyn again. "Want some?"

"No thanks," Jyn said, their friendly banter again coaxing a smile out of her. It felt foreign on her face, full of stiff jaw muscles and scattered panic, but she persisted.

* * *

"It was self-defense."

"It was self-defense," Baze agreed.

"We said as much to the principal." Chirrut was quiet. "Do you _see_ the altercation, Baze?"

There was a long pause before his husband grunted, "No. But it was obvious."

"She wasn't injured."

"It was three on one, all of them taller than her."

"But we can't know for sure…" Chirrut's gut twisted. No matter how much he wanted the matter to be simple—no matter how much he wanted Jyn to be as okay and innocent as possible—he had to face the truth. It was something he'd learned over a decade of fostering children. Facing the truth ended much better than living in illusions. For everyone involved.

"Yes, we can." The surety in Baze's voice made Chirrut turn his head, make a futile attempt to see him through his cloudy eyes, an old habit that had long since died out of him except in the most surprising of circumstances. As always, Baze was a blob, blurry and made of shadows but at least definitely Baze-shaped, if he stared hard enough. "Kyber."

Relief immediately washed over Chirrut in a giant wave as he caught on to Baze's thinking. It was something he hadn't even considered at the time, but of course he was right. "She would never have bit him if he hadn't attacked Jyn first." Saying the words aloud made the relief coalesce inside him, made it tangible and something to hold onto amidst the turmoil.

"She bit one of his friends, not the boy who was injured."

"Oh." Chirrut adjusted his mental account of the incident, accounting for the sounds he had heard, the bits he had picked up from others, and what Baze had just said. He replayed it back. The end result was the same. "So, what are we going to do?"

"Keep a closer eye on her in public." Chirrut loved that he knew he wasn't talking about the principal or the legal aspect of it. "Talk to her. Make her feel safe. Hide all our pens."

"Baze." He stopped, gathering the courage to put into words the fear he had been hiding. "Baze, do you think she's a danger to Bodhi?"

"Or to us?" he suggested back. "It's possible. Does the risk change what you want to do?"

"…No," Chirrut admitted. "We can help her. I know it. And you?"

"No."

They were silent for a few minutes. "Is it bad that now I'm just praying she makes it through the school day?"

"No," Baze said. "I feel the same." Chirrut heard his clothes rustle as he turned in his chair. "Four hours since we dropped her off. No call yet."

"It's a good sign," Chirrut agreed with a small smile. "Just four more to go."

* * *

"Don't forget there's a back side to the worksheet today," Mr. Draven called from the front of the class. Sitting as close as she was, Jyn heard him, but she doubted very many of the other students did given the current state of chaos in a classroom filled with the sounds of paper being stuffed in backpacks, pencils clacking together, and zippers being tugged closed. The bell had rung half a minute ago and only then had Draven dismissed them for the day.

"Are you headed to the bus loop?" Leia asked her as Jyn zipped up her own backpack. "I can show you where it is. Or are you being picked up by car?"

"I'm not going back to their house, actually," Jyn said. "I'm doing an after school tutoring thing." She looked at Leia, a tiny bit of hope igniting in her chest. "Do any of you guys go to that?"

The girl glanced at her friends, then shook her head. "Sorry, no. But I can still show you where it is, if you like."

"Sure," Jyn agreed, standing up and hoisting her backpack over one shoulder. She mentally crushed that tiny bit of hope with a few harsh stomps of her feet.

"Catch up with you in a few minutes, Luke," Leia told her brother. "Tell Dad why I'm late."

"You got it!"

"I can come too," Han offered.

Leia rolled her eyes. "You have a bus to catch." Jyn followed Leia out of the classroom and into a courtyard beyond, then to another classroom with a neon orange sign marked _After-School Tutoring brought to you by Yavin Middle Schoolers - Come on in!_ "Here you are," Leia smiled at her. "See you tomorrow?"

Jyn nodded. "Yeah."

She pushed the door open alone, poking her head inside the quiet classroom. It looked a lot like Draven's, so she presumed it was just one requisitioned for the tutoring program. A few other kids were already seated in groups, heads bent over their work, and there was a pair of girls with their desks shoved together whispering in hushed tones over some sort of science project. A boy seated at one of the desks in the front row turned around to look at her at the sound of the door clicking shut. "Do you need help with something?" he asked.

"No," Jyn said defensively, heading to one of the seats in the back and selecting one with at least three empty desks between her and any of the other students. She set her backpack on the ground and plopped into the chair before removing two math worksheets and a spelling practice quiz from her homework folder and placing them on her desk. Once she had a pencil in hand as well, she dared a glance up at the boy in the front. He had gone back to reading, lips parted slightly as he mouthed some of the words infinitesimally.

She returned her eyes to her own work. It was titled _Practice with Exponents_. Only problem: she had no idea what an exponent was. Her eyes drifted to the first problem. _(0.8)^-2_

Why was that -2 so small and raised above the 0.8? She honestly had no idea.

Usually this was when—at Saw's—she'd just give up. Set the worksheet aside and turn it in blank the next day, if she showed up to school at all. And never think about stupid flying numbers again.

But somehow she didn't think that would fly with Baze and Chirrut. She would have to do this homework. She would have to go to school tomorrow. Which meant at least putting _something_ vaguely logical down as answers for the…forty-three problems assigned to her.

Shit.

Well, maybe that little number above just meant she would have two 0.8s. Negative two 0.8s. So that would be…-1.6 if you added them together? She wrote it down quickly, pencil scratching against the paper. _(0.8)^-2 = -0.8+-0.8 = -1.6_

Great, now only forty-two problems to go.

She did the next one too, side-eying the boy from before as he wandered by. He went all the way around the classroom, checking on all of the groups. He did not however, sit back down with his book again. Instead he approached, casting a looming shadow across her desk as he stopped next to her. "I can help you if you want," the older boy said.

"I don't need help," Jyn insisted, giving him her best defiant look. Her fingers wrapped around the pencil she'd been writing with, and she wished she'd had a chance to sharpen it again before leaving class.

"You've gotten through two problems in half an hour, and they're both wrong," he told her, pulling up a desk. She blinked, surprised at his bluntness. And his accent. It was just heavy enough to be instantly noticeable, yet not so thick that she had trouble understanding him.

Kind of like hers was.

Except while hers stemmed from Coruscant, where she had been born, his was rougher to her ears…more foreign.

"Here," the boy said, scritching something out on a bit of scratch paper he had with him and sliding it in front of her. Their desks were now touching at the edges. He was uncomfortably close, although he didn't even seem to notice. "Would you know how to do it if it looked like that?"

She bent her head. _(0.8)^2_

 _No_. "You're giving me _more_ problems to do?" she questioned, drawing the anger for the statement from a place deep inside her. "I have enough of those, thanks."

He didn't bristle, or scowl, or anything she expected. In fact, his mouth twisted upward in a smile. "I'll take that as a no. Do you know what to do with an exponent?"

"Obviously."

"—not," he finished her statement. She glared at him.

He sighed. "Look, it's just a quicker way to say multiply. The little number on top shows how many times you multiply the number by itself. So eight to the second power would be eight times eight, or sixty-four." He paused. "So then what would point eight squared be?"

"Point sixty-four?"

He smiled wider. "See? There, you got it."

"But that one's _negative_ two." She pointed to her actual worksheet instead of his made-up problem.

"For negatives all you do is take the…" He stopped. " _Recíproco_. Reciprocal? I think that's the word here." He leaned over, using his own pencil lightly on her paper. "To do that, put the number on the bottom with a one and a division bar on top."

"So the answer to this one would be…" Jyn tapped her pencil against the desk. "One over point sixty-four?"

"Yes. But if you have Draven you'll want to put that into proper and simplest form or you'll get points marked off," the boy advised.

"You had him?" She wrote down her answer, as well as _1/.64 = 100/64 = 25/16._

"Last year. And circle the final answer." His pencil swooped down to do it for her, making an efficient and graceful loop around her 25/16 . "I'm in seventh grade now."

"I think I get it," Jyn said, staring down at her paper.

"You're welcome."

"I didn't say thanks," she found herself saying.

He shrugged, standing up to move the desk back to its original position away from hers. "Tutoring's a thankless job anyway." He gave her a shy grin before moving back towards the front of the classroom. "And I _did_ give you an extra problem."

"Yeah, I still resent you for that," Jyn told his retreating back, but there was no venom in it. She looked down, starting on the next problem. A moment later, the middle schooler was sitting down next to her with his book in hand. "What are you doing?" Jyn asked, the words coming out perhaps more rudely than she meant to. "I said I get how to do it now."

"Okay." He opened up the book, started reading.

"Why did you move?"

"I like this seat better. And if you get stuck again…"

"I won't."

"Okay. Then I'll just sit here."

"Fine."

"Fine." She didn't miss the way his lips quirked upwards when he said it. Jyn returned her attention to the math homework. _(8^3)^2_

Shit. "…I'm stuck again."

"Good. Because I really hate _Of Mice and Men._ " He set his book down and slid his desk near hers again, his closeness not bothering her quite so much as the first time. When he was finished explaining the traps and pitfalls of the next few problems—and they _were_ traps and pitfalls, there was absolutely no legitimate reason for these exponent things to exist in Jyn's opinion—he returned to reading. She noticed it was not one but two books he was looking at, one regularly with the miniscule movements of his lips as his eyes slowly scanned the page, and one that he flipped through every few minutes with the crease of a frown across his face.

"What is that?" Jyn asked the fourth or fifth time he consulted the smaller book. She didn't even pretend to be apologetic for the inattention she was paying her math homework, fairly confident that this was the longest and hardest she'd ever worked on an assignment already. That was progress enough.

The boy jumped slightly, moving almost to hide the book under his jacket. Jyn recognized that impulse reaction, learned in a similar way to her instinct to reach for something sharp when approached by strangers. "Pocket translation dictionary," he admitted, showing her the cover. "From this language to my native one. I've only been speaking it for a year and a half, so some of the words still trip me up, especially in the books they assign for school."

"What word were you looking up?"

"De-briss," he said.

She leaned closer, looking where his finger was pointing. "Debris. It's pronounced weird. But it's like…scattered stuff, like if something blew up and there was rubble everywhere."

"Oh." He nodded. "That makes sense."

"You're welcome." Direct, almost flippant. She risked a glance up at his face—dark eyes and something akin to surprise within their depths. "No need for you to say it. Someone once told me tutoring's a thankless job anyway."

"I would have said thank-you; you just didn't give me a chance!"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

He laughed. "I'm Cassian, by the way. You going to be here often? Because it seems we can work out an arrangement, vocabulary for math problems."

"Jyn, and I don't know. Probably. My foster parents this time seem like they really want me to catch up in school, so…" She shifted the papers on her desk. "How are you with spelling?"

He eyed it. "You'll have to wait for my friend Kay for that; he's the spelling Nazi. But he's out sick today, lucky for us."

"Why is that lucky?"

"Meet Kay, and you'll understand what I mean."

A silence fell between them for a few minutes. Then Jyn ventured, "I might not be here for long…because of the whole foster parents thing."

He smiled. "That would be a shame, because my literature homework isn't going anywhere."

"You didn't act differently…most people act differently at the foster parent thing," Jyn said. "Or at least, ask questions."

"There's no such thing as a perfect family." From the way his expression tightened as he said it, he knew what he was talking about.

She was quiet. "They could be. Baze and Chirrut. That's what I call them. I mean, it looks like they are for my foster brother, Bodhi. But I owe someone else, someone who took care of me before they did. I…I don't belong to them." Jyn lifted her eyes to meet Cassian's. "Does that make any sense?"

He nodded, slowly, a jerk of his chin and a long, tight exhale of breath. "Debts have to be paid."

"Debts have to be paid," she echoed back, a ghost of a smile flitting across her lips. She was glad he understood.

* * *

 **I apologize for the crappy look of the fractions and exponents in here. They looked better on my Google Doc formatted correctly.**

 **Also, a point of clarification: their ages. I figured I'd lay it all out here since it's a bit of a weird thing to bring up in the story for more than a couple of them.**  
 **Bodhi - 9 years old and in 4th grade, which is right where he should be.**  
 **Luke/Leia/Han/Wedge - 11 years old (on average) and in 6th grade, which is normal.**  
 **Jyn - 12 years old and in 6th grade, meaning she's behind by one year for her age.**  
 **Cassian - 13 years old and in 7th grade, which means he's also behind by a year for his age.**

 **To any of you thinking it odd that 6th grade is still elementary school, I think it's odd too but it was the only way to put all the characters where I wanted them. My elementary school was only K-5, but my cousins went to one where it went all the way up through 6th and middle school was just 7th and 8th. So it does exist, just in my experience less common.**


	6. Who You Really Were, Jyn Erso

**Holy shit. I was telling myself I needed to start moving the plot along now that the characters are introduced but I didn't mean for everything in this chapter to happen so soon! I was writing it during Calculus and math apparently leads to dark places…who knew.**

 **Also, a massive thank-you to** Kermitty **for pointing out my completely mortifying multiplication errors last chapter. Eek.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6**  
 **Who You Really Were, Jyn Erso**

Jyn made it through her first day of school. That, Chirrut was thankful for. She even told them about it in a few short words when prompted on the car ride home, which he was also thankful for, nevermind the fact that when they pulled up she had been wearing an expression of not expecting them to show at all. The third thing that Chirrut was thankful for that Monday in early February was the phone that rang around eight thirty that evening.

"I'll get it," Chirrut said, navigating around the kitchen table for the phone. "You see to our two hooligans."

"Bad deal," Baze grunted, but Chirrut heard him stomping up the stairs anyway.

He answered the phone sometime mid-third ring. "Hello?"

"This is Principal Thrawn from Wobani Elementary School. May I speak to Mr. Îmwe or Mr. Malbus?"

"This is Chirrut Îmwe. Is this regarding the incident at the school?"

"Yes. I wanted to inform you…our campus security officer reviewed the security footage of the incident and did view Jyn Erso's actions as self-defense, since the boy did appear to be reaching for her neck."

"As we told you," Chirrut said smoothly, masking his own relief at having the account in which they held faith confirmed.

"Yes, well…though the parents have been advised legally against pressing charges, they have only agreed to do so as long as her expulsion stands."

"That is fine," Chirrut replied. "We have enrolled her in another public school nearer our home. How is the boy?"

"He received a few stitches but should be fine," the principal said.

"I'm glad to hear it." Chirrut was sincere about that, at least. "If there is nothing else…"

"No, this was just a courtesy call," the man answered. "Goodbye."

"Thank you, goodbye." He set the phone back down in its charging port.

"Everything all right?" Baze announced his coming back into the room.

Chirrut nodded, quickly relaying the point of the call in a few sparse words. "The kids in bed?"

"Jyn is awake until nine thirty but I told her she had to choose a quiet activity to not disturb Bodhi."

"A good time to have a talk with her about today, then?"

"As good as any."

Kyber followed them as they walked up the stairs together, perhaps thinking they were headed to bed early and eager to curl up at the foot of it. Her tail wagged against his legs in soft thumps as they stopped in front of Jyn's door, which a light touch told Chirrut was closed. His hand curled into a fist and rapped softly against the door before turning the handle.

"Jyn?" he asked, willing her to speak so that he could orient himself in the location of her voice. If she refused, Baze could always point him in the right direction, and would always do so, but Chirrut did prefer to do things himself when possible. There was a rustle from the bed, so Chirrut pulled up the desk chair facing it, sitting down. He heard the door start to swing closed, heard Jyn's sharp intake of breath as it did. Then he heard it open again, the soft release of breath from Jyn, and knew that Baze understood what he now did—she didn't want to be trapped. Chirrut loved him for that and was reminded how fortunate he was to have Baze as a partner in parenting.

"Has Sabine come? Am I going back to Saw's?" Her questions caught him by surprise. "Usually when both the foster parents come in to talk to me, I'm not long for the place."

"That's not what's happening," Baze told her. His voice was as gentle, honest, as Chirrut had ever heard of. "We have no news on that front."

"Oh." She almost sounded disappointed.

"We want to talk to you about what happened at Wobani," Chirrut said. "Would you tell us why you had that pen in your pocket, Jyn?"

"We know it was one of ours, not from your new school supplies," Baze added.

When Jyn was silent, Chirrut went on, "Did you feel unsafe? Did you expect to be attacked? How long have you been carrying it around?" He smiled. "We can sit here all night, you know."

"I might miss my bedtime," she pointed out. She thought she had them there.

"You might," Chirrut replied blandly. "We want to understand, Jyn. That's all."

"That's not all," she scoffed. "You'll tell me not to do it next time. Not to defend myself like that, that the little fucker got hurt—"

"We wouldn't say so in those _exact_ words," Chirrut replied, voice mild. "And we will _never_ tell you not to protect yourself, Jyn. I promise."

"Your safety comes first, always," Baze confirmed.

"Then what's the problem," Jyn spat.

"Baze and I are just concerned that this is a normal response for you. If this boy had been tormenting you at school, if you felt reasonably sure you were going to be attacked by him, if any of that is true then we do not fault you in the slightest for your actions, even if he did end up in the hospital getting stitches. But if your first instinct whenever you feel threatened is to stab someone, whether it be with a knife or a pen, then that is a concern to us. Because it is not a healthy way to live, and because you cannot go around stabbing people, Jyn."

"We suggest a good kneeing to the balls," Baze suggested helpfully.

"Do you understand?"

A sullen, "I guess so," was all he got in response.

"Next time, take a second to think about what is the appropriate response," Baze advised.

"But again, your safety does come first," Chirrut reminded her. "And please…if you are scared, or hurting, try to tell us. I want you to trust us, even if that may seem hard or even impossible to you right now. Just…keep it in mind."

"Got it. I want to go to sleep now."

"…All right. Chirrut stood up and pushed the desk chair back in. "Sleep well, Jyn." He followed Baze out of the room.

* * *

Pressed as she was to the crack underneath her closed door, Jyn could still only hear snatches of the conversation between Baze and Chirrut going on in their bedroom. "… _got through to her?_ " Baze was asking.

"… _is relatively safe…just worries me that we don't know what her triggers are…"_

"… _feel threatened…"_

"… _Bodhi…"_

The words she could make out were becoming more scant now, so she peeled herself off the floor and sat back down on her bed. She didn't have _triggers_ , Jyn thought angrily. She was being _logical_.

As soon as she was fairly certain they'd gone to bed, Jyn snuck out of her room and tiptoed down the stairs, shining a flashlight in front of her and directing the beam by cupping her left hand around the tip so that no stray light would be visible under Chirrut and Baze or Bodhi's doorways. Time to really assess the ins and outs of this house. First she came to the front door, which she tried to open only to find it somehow locked against her. Try as she might, that escape route was blocked to her, leaving her bedroom window as the only viable option if she needed it to be quiet. Opening the garage door, situated as it was under the upstairs bedrooms, would wake everyone up. Next she snooped through the kitchen, making her footsteps light as Saw had taught her, and began softly opening the drawers built into the counter. In one, utensils. The next, spatulas and stirring spoons. In a third, steak knives. Jyn lifted one out and examined the blade, holding her flashlight close to inspect its sharpness. She tucked it into the same hand as her flashlight, blade facing away from her wrist in proper knife-wielding fashion, and kept looking.

Better safe than sorry. Even Chirrut and Baze understood that, even if that hasn't been _quite_ the point of their coming in to talk with her. It wasn't like she planned on _using_ it.

But, just in case. She must always be prepared. Anything else got you killed.

After going through the rest of the drawers and finding nothing of interest, Jyn moved on to the cupboards. Briefly she considered hoarding a bit of the dry food she found there, but Chirrut and Baze hadn't failed to feed her yet so she left it alone. In the drawers of the kitchen island she began to find non-food related items, such as a box of batteries, a mess of charging cables, and—money. The edges of the green-printed bills were clearly visible, tucked inside a slit-open white envelope. Jyn flicked through them, careful not to disturb the look of the drawer: twenty, forty, eighty, a hundred, a hundred…

She folded two of the twenty dollar bills in half and stuffed them in her pocket.

The living room was next, although in there she mostly found toys and games and other such things she had no use for. However, she spotted a cordless phone in one corner and made a beeline for it, wrapping her hand around its cool plastic surface. Her breathing quickened—her way out. She could talk to him. To Saw. Jyn dialed the number with trembling fingers. Her thumb hovered over the last of the seven, running over the keypad nub without depressing it. She was calling from an traceable phone, something Saw had drilled into her never to do except in an emergency.

Well, this was an emergency, right? Jyn was separated from him. Jyn was taken from him.

She _needed_ him.

But who was to say Saw wanted her back anyways? He'd all but let her go, all but let Sabine take her away. _"You must go with her, Jyn."_ For a moment she allowed herself to be filled with the sense of utter abandonment she'd felt as he had rasped out those words. Then she shut it down. Saw was the only one who'd ever given her a real chance, a fighting chance. Sure, Chirrut and Baze's looked good now, but she was _two days in_ and Jyn was no fool—other foster homes had seemed this good in the beginning too. They had never lasted. The only one who had ever been constant or reliable for her was Saw.

He was her parents' choice, after all.

Jyn pressed the button. She dialed the number. And then she listened to it ring with baited breath. Four times it trilled, and then it was silent. Not even space to leave a message.

Jyn bit back the tears that threatened to flood her eyes— " _Crying is a weakness you cannot afford, Jyn. Show me that stiff Coruscanti lip"_ —and tasted metallic blood in her mouth. She shoved the phone back onto its holder and fled upstairs, only Saw's intense training keeping her footfalls light and undetectable. She threw herself onto the bed with a muffled _thump_ , curling into a tight ball.

* * *

A week passed, flitting by in the daylight without Jyn really noticing it as she found herself occupied with becoming accustomed to the routine of living with Chirrut, Baze, and Bodhi and the antics of her friends. Every day after school Cassian helped her with her math assignments and she helped him with English. She wasn't the fastest reader, but she had also never met anyone slower at it than her before. It was a mutual arrangement. The _Kay_ he had mentioned was still missing—on a family vacation, according to Cassian—so it was Chirrut patiently coaxing her through her spelling assignments instead. On the weekend they went shopping and to the movies and to the park to play frisbee with Kyber. All except the first Jyn had never done before, but she caught on quick.

At night, however, was a different story. The darkness of her bedroom made the relative peace of daily life at Baze and Chirrut's drain away with harsh reminders that she didn't belong here and that it was yet another day with no word from or about Saw or when she could return. What would he say when he saw her again, after a week of running no miles before breakfast and no hour at a punching bag in the late afternoon? What would he say if he learned she'd had waffles with whipped cream and maple syrup one morning instead of something with protein and fiber and whole grains? What would he say if he knew she hadn't holed up food and water in her room and treated this place like the hostage situation it was? Would he think _she'd_ abandoned _him_? His ways, his teachings, his survival skills? Would he think she wasn't grateful? Didn't love him?

Not that Saw had ever known that, of course. She'd said it to him once when she was younger, and he'd asked, " _What use have I for that?_ " Despite his gruff apology an hour later, Jyn still admitted that stung. She'd decided from then on to show it in other ways but never speak of it—to be obedient, to train hard, to keep her mouth shut, to never complain.

To her shame, Jyn couldn't muster even gratefulness to Saw right now, much less anything stronger. "Come for me," Jyn whispered in the dark. "And then I'll love you."

She didn't dare sneak out of bed for a late night phone call again, too afraid of the silence that would envelop her when it was not answered to try. She only lay in bed, waiting to fall asleep, with the stolen forty dollars tucked into her pillowcase and the steak knife slipped in between the side of the mattress and the bed frame. When she did sleep, she slept fitfully in their too-soft bed.

But her first nightmare—the thing that pushed her over the edge—occurred Monday night. Even asleep, she knew what it was. Just like she knew what was going to happen. Just like she was powerless to stop it.

" _Jyn, what are you doing out here?" her father asked, warmth in his voice. He came into her field of vision, a man with long graying hair and beard and sunken eyes that were soft and bright._

" _Nothing," her own high one answered back with a childish laugh, reaching her arms up toward him._

" _You're getting too big for this, you know," he told her as he swung her small body upwards towards the ceiling. She soared happily through the air on the strength of his arms before coming to rest on his the side of his hip, legs wrapping around his waist. "Uf, yes, much too heavy."_

" _No, I'm not, Papa," Jyn giggled. "I'll never be too heavy for you."_

" _What are you going to do, stop growing, stardust?" her papa teased._

" _Yep," Jyn told him defiantly, nodding her head before tucking it against his chest._

" _Galen?" He twisted them both toward the hallway where Lyra stood in the entrance, one eyebrow raised. "It's past her bedtime."_

" _Yes, and I found this one—" He gave her sides a tickle, causing Jyn to squeal with laughter. "—by the bookshelves instead of in bed where I put her ten minutes ago."_

" _I'm not sleepy," Jyn defended._

" _You could be, if you would lie down and stay still for more than five seconds," Lyra said with a smile. She cast a significant look toward Galen. "Come on, back to bed with you."_

" _To bed we go," Galen answered his wife, giving her a short bow that meant he was dipping Jyn toward the floor, her hair falling in front of her eyes as she clung to him, laughing madly._

" _Do it again!" Jyn had just called when there was a harsh series of knocks at the door._ Bang, bang, bang.

 _Lyra looked at Galen confused. "At this hour…?"_

" _Could be Saw," he replied with an equal frown as Jyn felt her feet hit the floor. He'd barely taken three steps toward the door when it burst open. Men in black armor, helmets, and vests swarmed into the house like insects out of a drain, pointing long, thin guns everywhere. Jyn screamed and scrambled behind the couch but Lyra and Galen were caught in the open._

" _Down on the floor!" one of the men shouted._

" _Please—don't—" Frozen, Lyra looked to the side, at Jyn, anguished. Galen knelt, slowly, palms in the air._

" _Sir, they're here, we have them," one of the intruders reported into his radio. Lyra dove for Jyn, and for a moment everything was going to be okay—Mama was coming, she would hug Jyn and protect her from these men, Papa would sort everything out and make them go away—_

 _Then there was another_ bang _, a different kind this time, sharper, and instead of reaching her, her mother crashed to the ground inches from Jyn, face and jaw slack, eyes open and unseeing._

" _LYRA!" Her father's bellow was deafening and terrible and in an instant he was on his feet again, lurching toward them. One of the men tackled him to the ground and he hit it with a_ thump _, head straining upward, eyes still desperately seeking hers. "Jyn! Jyn, stay where you are!"_

" _Sir, they have a child—" the man reported in the same tone as before._

 _The radio crackled. "I'm coming." New footsteps approached, and Jyn dragged her eyes away from her mama and her papa to the space above the cushions of the sofa, to the gaping hole in her home formerly covered by the door now hanging limply on its hinges._

 _The man in white stepped across the threshold. He surveyed the room and the destruction of Jyn's life with a cold gray gaze. When it swept chillingly in her direction, she ducked down again, shaking and scarcely able to breathe. "Grab her," the man commanded with a careless jerk of his hand. Jyn felt hands seize her roughly from behind, trapping her arms by her sides and holding her still. The man stepped forward until he was looking down at her father at his feet._

" _How?" Galen gasped out._

" _It's called international cooperation," the man in white said silkily, his accent matching the three of theirs perfectly. "You should have worked with me while you had the chance. It's over now—you're under arrest."_

" _Don't do this," Galen pleaded. "You know—you know it's not what they all think—"_

 _The man in white only greeted his words with a small smile before barking to the men in armor, "Cuff his hands! He's coming with me."_

" _And the girl?"_

" _She's just a child, just a child, she has nothing to do with this…"_

" _Deal with her yourselves; I have no interest in her," the man in white said dispassionately._

" _Just…just let me have a moment with her, and I'll come quietly," Galen begged, wrestling and writhing to keep his hands away from the cuffs. "…she's just a child."_

 _The man in white paused, looking almost amused. "All right." His subordinate holding the silver handcuffs withdrew._

 _Galen crept forward toward her, and finally Jyn felt safe enough to say something. "Papa!"_

" _Stardust, my stardust…" He hugged her tightly, paying no attention to the men just behind them who still hd a grip on her. He cupped her face. "Jyn, whatever I do, I do it to protect you." He gazed into her eyes. "Say you understand."_

" _I understand," Jyn said clearly, tears streaming down her face. "Papa—"_

" _I love you, stardust," he whispered._

" _That's enough." Galen was yanked backward, nearly falling flat on his back with the force of it before being hauled upward with bands of metal snapped around his wrists. A high-pitched, piercing scream filled her ears, and only as Galen was being dragged away did Jyn realize it was her own. Father gone, she stared into the blank eyes of her mother three inches from her face, seeking help. The pool of blood surrounding her was the only thing that moved, drifting impossibly outwards, becoming a lake, a sea, an ocean._

And as she woke, Jyn knew that was the last she'd ever seen of _home_.

A sick feeling was present in her chest as her body flew upright, plagued by a pounding heart and a twisted stomach and those images and the phantom sound of her own scream echoing through her ears. Her breaths came in ragged gasps as if she couldn't get enough oxygen, and the sunlight streaming in through the window blinded her eyes with bright light.

The knock at her door sliced through the haze of panic momentarily. "Jyn? Are you awake? School in an hour, but breakfast ended up being a bit early today."

"I'm awake," Jyn called back unsteadily, desperate for him to go away. "I'll be down in a few minutes." When the footsteps had receded, she pushed the covers off, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed to plant them on the floor. She tried to stand, only for her vision to narrow dangerously, and she sank down on the bed again. Her hands found her bare arms, squeezing, trying to ground herself and take back some semblance of control.

"You're okay," she murmured, then stronger, "You're _okay_. Relax!" Gritting her teeth together, "Jyn, relax."

Slowly the terror abated and she reluctantly released her arms, looking down to find nail marks there, red and indented in her skin. Frowning, Jyn quickly rubbed them away and stood up, running a hand through her shoulder-length brown hair and catching on tangles that had cropped up during the night. She twisted the doorknob carefully, quietly, and peeked out. No one in sight. Jyn slipped out of her room and ran lightly to the bathroom, where she shut the door behind her forcibly.

Breathing hard, she raised her gaze to the mirror. The dark circles around her eyes were back in full force, and her hair was even more of a mess than it usually was when she woke up, probably due to the thrashing in her sleep. Maybe it was the dark rings, but her skin seemed paler than normal, and blown pupils stared back at her. She affixed her face into a stern, angry expression. "Get ahold of yourself, Jyn." She glared at herself through her reflection. "Do not be weak."

Jyn wished she was at Saw's, because then she _wouldn't_ be weak. She couldn't be.

Splashing some water on her face, she toweled it off roughly in the hopes that it would fix some of her facial issues, but the roughness only caused her to go slightly blotchy and red, making it look like she had been crying instead. Not better. Not by a long shot.

So she put the toilet lid down and sat on that for a few minutes waiting for it to even out, legs tucked up to her chest. When the last of the pinkness had faded away, she slid off and stood up, exiting the bathroom and heading down the stairs.

"Good morning," Chirrut greeted her warmly, standing next to the dining table already set with a pan of muffins and a few boxes of cereal. Jyn said nothing, feeling even less like socializing this morning than she normally did, much less feigning friendliness—which, let's face it, she hardly did anyway, so Chirrut was probably not expecting that.

She didn't miss the glances they exchanged as she looked sullenly at the food. Scents of blueberry and cinnamon wafted up to greet her, but rather than increase her hunger they turned her stomach instead, making bile rise in the back of her throat at the thought of consuming any of it.

"What would you like?" Baze prompted, holding a butter knife aloft with which he could pop out a still-steaming muffin.

"Nothing. I don't want anything," Jyn mumbled.

Baze raised his eyebrows. "Nothing?"

"That's what I said, nothing!" She dared not look up at them but stared down at one of the empty plates, knowing well enough by now the concerned expressions they would be wearing. She was well aware this was nothing like her normal appetite, but she _couldn't eat_.

"Is something bothering you, Jyn?" Chirrut asked gently. "Have you heard something?" He came closer, stopping a respectful few feet away. "As I have told you before, you can tell us anything."

"Just leave me alone, I'm fine," she lied, the beginnings of anger starting to stir within her.

"All I am saying is you do not have to put up a front with us," Chirrut continued.

That didn't make sense to Jyn—of course there was a front to put up. For Saw, it was a mirage of strength until she _was_ strong. There were no tears in that house, no complaints and no admissions of weakness. For others, as every foster child knew, it was an illusion of being happy, of being smart, of being cuddly or friendly or whatever the parents wanted in a child. It was an illusion to make it seem like they weren't broken. Like the system hadn't broken them.

That was why Jyn loved Saw, or at least why she had begun to love him. He hadn't accepted her brokenness. He hadn't accepted her sadness and confusion over the loss of her parents, hadn't accepted the listless hopelessness she carried with her since the second failed foster home. He had forced her to pick up the pieces, glue them together into jagged whole.

"I said I'm fine," Jyn repeated, looking him straight in the eyes. It was only once she'd met them that she felt a bit foolish—the man was blind, and had no idea if she was looking him in the eyes at all.

"All right," Chirrut agreed, although she couldn't tell from his tone whether he believed her or not. "In that case, we have a promise to fulfill to you."

"What promise?"

"Sabine called us late last night," Baze said. "The investigation is concluded, and not in his favor. You will not be returning to the custody of Saw Gerrera."

Jyn felt her world crashing down. "No," she said, all the panic she'd barely kept at bay from before flooding in. This time, it didn't overwhelm her, just turned into a hard core of anger—no, _hatred_ —in her chest, as if an iron fist had suddenly begun constricting around her heart. "No!" She was on her feet, shouting now, staring directly at Baze, the purveyor of bad news. _The worst_ news. Her hands balled into fists, all the anger in her swirling and needing an outlet because _it couldn't be possible she had to go back Saw's was where she belonged she could be strong she could_

She was going to punch something, and only the basest of survival instincts—Baze was a big, big man—and maybe a tiny part of her saying _it's not his fault_ spun her feet and fist away from his chest and towards the kitchen wall directly to her right.

The punch flew.

The wall broke.

Her clenched fingers smashed right through it, leaving Jyn with aching knuckles and a scratched hand and the anger-adrenaline receding from her muscles. There was still enough in her to fuel her flight up the stairs, feet pounding each step. A rushing sound in her ears blocked out whatever sound Chirrut or Baze might have made, and she slammed her room door behind her hard enough that it bounced back open, wheezing.

She had to get out, she had to go back, now that this had happened it would be her last chance to fix things the way they should be—

The window. She swept homework and a cup of pencils and pens off the desk with a wave of her hand and then clamored on top of it. Jyn pressed her fingers to the edges of the window, seeking the release mechanism, only to find it was screwed into place, probably to prevent a scenario just like this. She jumped off the desk in a flying leap, then thrust her fingers in between the mattress and the bed frame. They came into contact with the steak knife and she pulled it out, climbing back up and placing the sharp edge into the screw head's groves at a downward angle following the curve of the blade, using its length as a lever as she pushed in a circular at the end of the handle with her other hand. Fifteen seconds later, the screw plinked onto the desk, and she shoved the window open. Because it had been bolted shut there was no screen, only open space between her and the fifteen foot drop below.

She shoved herself down from the desk and began throwing things into her school backpack—knife, money, anything she could use—and pulling on street clothes. As the warmest thing she had, the brown leather jacket Chirrut had bought her got thrown over her t-shirt and jeans. Jyn mounted the desk towards the window again, looking out of it. Five feet away there was a tree she could slide down, but that would rely on her ability to not smash her face into any large unseen branches through the leaves when she initially jumped. It was better than a fifteen foot drop though. She tensed her leg muscles, preparing to jump—and felt a tugging at her pant leg.

"Kyber!" she hissed, looking down. The malamute had its teeth in the cuff of her jeans, looking up at her with sad eyes. "Get _off_!" She punctuated the words with a swift shake of her leg, her shoe hitting the side of Kyber's muzzle.

The dog released and let out one loud bark. "Quiet!" At Jyn's glare, Kyber slunk out of the room with her tail between her legs. Jyn returned her attention to the window, calculated her angle, took a deep breath, and jumped. She free-fell towards the tree.

* * *

For the moment after the punch, neither Chirrut nor Baze moved. "I thought she was going to punch me," Baze said finally, an odd, almost humorous quality to his voice.

"Jyn wouldn't do that," Chirrut replied. The shock was wearing off, fading away like the tail end of a rainstorm.

"You're very naïve," Baze grunted.

"But right."

"So far." He heard his husband move to examine the hole in the wall. Chirrut ran his fingers over the edges of splintered paint and wood. "What are we going to do with this? Patch it?"

"Frame it," Chirrut replied proudly, with a small smile. "With a placard: Jyn's first punch."

"Bodhi's nose was her first," Baze reminded him.

"Jyn's _second_ punch."

Baze sighed. "If we get rats, it's on you."

"Mm." He turned away from the hole. "I wish she had opened up. But I suppose that was too much to ask for, this early."

Baze made a noncommittal sound. "You expected her to?"

"No."

"She still might."

"She had been doing so well these last few days…" Chirrut pondered. "Compared to the first few, that is. Maybe we were wrong to tell her about Saw before school. Even if we did promise to do it as soon as we knew…"

"You talked to Mothma and Draven. She's doing well there. Better than at home. With all her friends, Leia and Luke and Edge. And that boy from tutoring."

"Cassian," Chirrut supplied. "You're right. School is in forty-five minutes. When do you think we should we go up and talk to her?"

"Let her cool down a bit first," Baze said. "Besides, Kyber seems like she's headed up there now. Maybe the therapy dog will help." Chirrut listened and did indeed hear the clacking of her claws followed by muffled pawsteps heading out of ear-range.

Upstairs, the dog barked. "Kyber asking to be let in," Chirrut said with a smile. After thirty seconds of silence he added, "I guess Jyn let her."

"Guess not," Baze said. The padding of paws down the stairs resumed, followed by the clacking of claws on linoleum, and then Kyber was winding slowly and mournfully around Chirrut's legs. He leaned down to comfort her, running his hands through her shaggy pelt.

"Remember how Bodhi was when we first got you and he didn't know what to do with you?" he murmured as he pet her. "We'll go talk to Jyn in a bit, once she's calmed down some." The dog snuffled against his leg.

Five minutes later, Chirrut decided it was time, took Baze's hand, began the trek up the stairs himself. "Jyn?" he called softly, knocking on her mostly-closed door. She didn't answer, so he pushed it open. "Jyn?"

"Chirrut." Something in Baze's voice chilled him, and he cursed his lack of sight. He began to move slowly across the floor, feeling for what was out of place with his feet, and came across a scattered collection of pens and paper on the floor.

And a breeze…

"No," Chirrut said, and he made a beeline for the window, placing his palms against the frame. It was open. "Baze," he intoned, backing away. " _Baze_." He heard the heavy footfalls stepping forward, heard the creak of the desk as his husband leaned on it to gaze out the window, to confirm what Chirrut feared and already knew.

"She's gone."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! In case there are any concerns, my goal is not to portray Saw Gerrera as evil, just as a man not cut out to raise a child and who has other priorities that rather than giving up he adopted her into even if they weren't appropriate in any sense.**

 **Also, as a preview for what's coming up - in the words of Yoda: Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.**


	7. That's a War Zone

**So I'm not completely satisfied with the way this chapter turned out, but I'm posting it anyway because it's been a while. I didn't get halfway through what I thought was going to happen in it, but that just means this arc of the story will last a bit longer. So, at long last...the answer to where Jyn went.**

* * *

 **Chapter 7**  
 **That's a War Zone**

"She can't have gotten far." His voice was desperate.

"I'll check the yard and the rest of the house," Baze said in reply. "You need to get Bodhi ready for school. I'll find her." He stomped out of the room.

"Okay," Chirrut agreed after a moment, taking a deep breath. Only the thought of their son kept him from running after Baze and tearing the yard, the house, the street, the _city_ apart. Instead he walked to Bodhi's room, knocking gently on the door and locating the boy based on the deep, calm sweeps of his lungs. His hands roamed over the closest patch of bedsheets to ascertain a place for himself to sit, and then he perched on the edge of the bed before placing a hand on Bodhi's small shoulder, shaking him gently. "Bodhi—time to wake up."

"Mmgh."

Despite his terror for Jyn, his youngest's response made him smile. "Bodhi."

"Mm, what," came the next murmur.

"Breakfast is on the table," Chirrut told him, beginning to rub comforting circles on the boy's back. "But something has happened with Jyn."

"What?" Chirrut felt the boy sit up against his hand.

"She may have run away. Baze is looking for her now, but he will be back in time to drive you to school."

"I don't wanna go to school!" Bodhi burst out. "I want to help find Jyn! Where could she go? What will she do all by herself? What happens if you can't find her?"

"We will find her," Chirrut told him. "In the meantime, breakfast is waiting."

"I could help look," Bodhi suggested as Chirrut heard the sounds of him hurriedly changing out of his pajamas. "I'm good at finding things around the house, remember? I could help Baze—"

"Bodhi," Chirrut stopped him. "The best thing you can do right now is get ready for school. I know it's hard, but this is something Baze and I have to deal with."

"…okay…" Bodhi threw his arms around his waist. "I'm worried about her."

"Me too," Chirrut whispered. They went downstairs and Chirrut encouraged Bodhi to eat, though it was obvious the boy didn't have much appetite. Fifteen minutes to the start of school, Baze came back into the house, but Chirrut could tell just by his footsteps that he had been unsuccessful. Chirrut put Kyber's therapy dog vest on her and attached her leash, knowing Bodhi would have a better time at school today with her comfort.

Bodhi got his backpack while Baze fetched his car keys. "Chirrut!" the boy said when he handed him the leash. "What about Kyber? She might be able to find Jyn!" Hope surged in his chest and he nodded. "Kyber," Bodhi called. "Kyber, where's Jyn? Can you find Jyn?" There was no click-clack of nails on the floor, and the faint hope drained away.

"It was a good try, Bodhi," Chirrut said with a sigh.

"Wait! I saw this on TV once." Bodhi raced up the stairs and then back down again. "It's Jyn's shirt from yesterday. Maybe Kyber can get her scent from this and follow her!" Chirrut heard the dog snuffling around in the cloth, but still nothing happened.

"Why isn't she doing anything?" Bodhi asked miserably.

"Kyber is a therapy dog, not a tracker," Chirrut replied heavily. "It's time for you to go to school."

"Bye, Chirrut." The boy's arms wrapped around his middle, hugging him tightly. "I think I liked having a sister," Bodhi said in a muffled voice. He sniffled.

"You still have a sister," Chirrut told him. "We're not giving up on Jyn."

* * *

Sharp branches and leaves poked at her as she plunged through them. Another half second and she broke through to the interior, momentum carrying her toward the dark brown trunk. She hit it with a grunt, arms wrapping around its girth as her feet scrabbled for purchase on the bark. Her right hand ended up gripping a sizeable tree limb jutting out at a right angle to the house while her left held the back of the tree with the flat of her palm, its roughness searing her skin. She looked down; the ground was only five feet below her toes. Jyn climbed down as far as she could before simply letting go and dropping into a crouched position that did not entirely relieve the pain lancing up her ankles and knees.

Jyn dusted herself off and immediately started running. Her feet pounded the pavement, air expelled from her lungs in ragged gasps that had little to do with her sprint. Only once she was out of sight of Chirrut and Baze's house by a good three blocks did she slow to a brisk walk. She had to get to Saw's, and she had to not get caught.

The nearest bus stop was only about a half mile from here, but would they expect that and look for her there? Would they find her, catch her, succeed in taking her away from Saw for good?

It was too dangerous. They would think to look for her there, once they realized she was gone, and while it may not be the first place they checked, Baze had a car and could move a lot faster than she could. The next bus stop beyond that would be a safer bet, and it was even in the opposite direction from Saw's house, which would further throw them off. She hadn't seen that one out the car window as she had the first, but she knew its general location.

Jyn kept walking, checking behind her every few seconds or so but the street remained clear of her foster parents. Empty it was not, however, between the group of moms out walking their dogs together on the sidewalk and one man mowing his lawn out front. Try as she might, Jyn couldn't manage to avoid passing the group of women on the sidewalk, but they were too engrossed in their conversation to think much about some random girl's impending truancy. Besides, she was wearing a backpack, despite the fact that she was heading in the opposite direction of the school. She skirted around the dogs though, a modicum of guilt settling in her stomach at the sight of a wolf-like dog somewhat resembling Kyber. She hadn't _wanted_ to kick Bodhi's dog…but she needed to go.

After a dozen more suburban streets, one shortcut through a park where she stopped briefly to drink from the water fountain, and a trip across an overpass above the freeway, Jyn reached the bus stop she was looking for. From the small collection of people waiting under its plastic canopy, she could tell that the bus hadn't been by in a while. One was a business woman in a dark suit wearing a sliver of plastic on one ear which she seemed to be listening to intently. Another was a man in a collared shirt with a briefcase. The last was easily ten years younger than the other two—probably college-aged, wearing headphones and a backpack covered in political pins.

She tapped her on the shoulder. The young woman looked up, slight surprise showing on her face at the sight of Jyn, but she slipped her headphones off anyway. "Excuse me, but do you have change for a twenty?" Jyn asked, holding up the bill. She was acutely aware of how young she looked to be standing alone at a bus stop, and prepared to dash off if the woman showed any signs of suspicion.

"Uh, let me check," the college student said, slipping off her backpack and digging out her wallet. She counted out a ten and two fives. "Wait, you want bus fare, right?" Jyn nodded, and the woman exchanged one of the fives for five ones. She handed the stack of bills to Jyn and slipped the twenty inside her wallet before putting it back inside the backpack, zipping it up again.

"Thank you," Jyn said, stepping away. She stuffed all but the ones in her pocket just as the bus pulled up. Jyn got on after everyone else, reading the fare to be a dollar and inserting it into the machine before shuffling toward the back and finding a seat.

Jyn watched the scenery pass by through the window with a heightening sense of excitement and dread. She was going back where she belonged, but how long would it last? Would Saw go on the run for her, give up all that he had built so that she could stay with him when Sabine and the police came looking? Was Jyn worth it to him, perhaps at the cost of his life's work?

Twelve stops and thirty minutes later, Jyn stepped off the bus and walked one block to the house. As usual, the garage door was closed and the blinds pulled. She stood on the cracked driveway for a few seconds, trying to calm her pounding heart. She was here. She was back. She had made it.

It suddenly occurred to her how exposed she was on the street, standing directly in front of the first place they would think to look. How sloppy Saw would say that was, if he looked out the window and saw her now. Jyn swallowed, steeling herself, then went around the side of the house to the backyard gate. She rose onto her tiptoes to wrap her fingers around the top of the wood slabs making up the gate, heaving upward to drag herself over the top. Her entire torso jutted out over the fence, teetered for a moment, and then gravity took over and her legs flipped over her head. She barely managed to twist the orientation of her hands in time before her elbows were shorn off at the joint, but she landed safely on the ground.

Just like the front of the house, the backyard was still and quiet, although this lawn was slightly overgrown with weeds. Jyn crossed through them to get to the small chlorinated pond in the middle—in which she'd been taught to hold her breath for two minutes straight years ago—and lifted the trapdoor hidden in one of the fake boulders lining the pool. Her feet hit the rungs of the metal ladder, and as soon as she was far enough down Jyn pulled the trapdoor closed over her head. The rest of the descent was made in near complete darkness save the one sliver of light allowed in through a slit in the rock designed for airflow purposes. Jyn knew when she had reached the bottom by counting the rungs, and she shuffled around one hundred eighty degrees to face the door that would let her inside the house. Out of habit Jyn opened it as softly as she could, looking through the dim lighting at Saw's basement. Except for the fact that it was empty and the faint smell of sweat days stale instead of fresh and sharp, it was exactly as she remembered it—black punching bags suspended from the ceiling, pieces of paper hanging on strings with targets printed on them ripped through by bullet holes, a few haphazardly-made cots lined up in one corner. "Saw?" Jyn called out. "Saw, I'm back. Are you here?" There was no answer. The door of one of the lockers built into the south wall caught her eye. It was ajar. A sick feeling built in the pit of her stomach, and she crossed the room to pull the door open fully. The locker was empty. Saw _always_ kept his guns there, but now they were gone.

As if running to escape her growing sense of dread— _no this couldn't be happening he had to be here no_ —Jyn dashed up the stairs that led to the cabinet next to the kitchen sink. She unlatched the locking mechanism from the inside and burst out into the main part of the house. Jyn ran in desperate zig-zags from room to room, already knowing what she would find. _No no no no no no no…_

Jyn dashed into her own room—same gray walls and plain sheets, same utilitarian dresser. One of the drawers was still open from when she'd slammed it to make her point about not wanting to leave to Sabine, the rollers too greased for it to stay closed. No sign that anyone had touched anything since then.

Jyn had just exited the room when she heard the footstep, the footstep that wasn't Saw's or Baze's or Chirrut's or anyone she recognized—

She remembered the steak knife was still in her backpack, unreachable, and she cursed herself for being so stupid.

"Hands up and don't move or I will shoot!" Able to do nothing else, Jyn froze. "Who are you?" She was silent. Did she know the man's voice? She didn't think so. He was standing behind her now, but she dared not turn around for a look at his face. "Are you Jyn?" She flinched at the sound of her name before nodding, scarcely able to breathe. "Then you'll be able to answer this question: what was the name of the toy you had when you first came to this place?" His tone was even, as if he had memorized the question and was just repeating it to her now.

"Stormy," Jyn found her voice. "Saw made me get rid of him because soldiers are not toys and war is not a game."

"Sounds like Gerrera." She heard the decisive _click_ of the safety being re-engaged on a gun, so she turned around to look at the man who knew her protector. He was somewhat squat with a dark, lined face, as if he had spent a lot of time in the sun, but nothing special. Just another unknown man in Saw's house. She didn't drop the defensive stance her body had naturally adopted.

"Who are you?"

"Pao. Saw Gerrera ordered me to stay here in case a girl named Jyn showed up, and to bring you to him if you did." He rubbed a hand over his face and holstered his gun. "I thought he was crazy, expecting a girl to show up here."

"You don't remember me?" Jyn asked cautiously.

"Should I?'

"I don't remember you," she told him. "But there have been a lot of people through here. You must be new."

"Old, actually. Saw trained me seven years ago. I've mostly been out on assignment since."

Jyn processed that information, still not ready to trust him yet even if his statement did check out. Seven years ago had been before her time. "Where is Saw?"

"Undisclosed location far south of here," Pao said.

She warred with herself for a moment, then made her decision. Saw, by whatever means necessary. "We should go. There might be people looking for me." Relief was crashing over in waves as she finally allowed herself to believe it was true. Saw cared—cared enough to leave one of his men, a _trusted_ man he had known for a long time, or at least as close as Saw got to _trust—_ and she would be reunited with him soon.

"Did you commit a crime?" Pao asked, eyebrows knitting together.

"No, I ran away." Jyn strode past him. "Car's in the garage?"

"Yes, but—" He caught her wrist. She reacted instantly, nearly breaking his fingers before he released her. "—I'm in charge on this trip, not you. I'm not getting arrested for you. So if I say to do something, you do it immediately, no questions asked, got it?"

Jyn squared her shoulders, lifting her chin. "I can follow orders."

Pao looked her up and down. "I believe you." He led the way to the car. "Get in the back," he called to her. "Don't need the airbag blowing up and ruining your pretty face."

Jyn felt light for the first time in a long while as she climbed into the car. "Are you planning on crashing into something?"

From up front, Pao grinned. "Depends on if anything's in my way."

* * *

"She's not here, is she?" Chirrut said, voice low and forlorn.

From the driver's seat where he sat gazing out the window at the house belonging to Saw Gerrera, Baze answered, "No. And no one answered when I knocked on the door." He was silent for a moment. "How long do we sit here, waiting?"

"Until we accept that we failed," Chirrut replied. "Failed Jyn."

"Consider it accepted."

"And now we keep trying," he said, forcing his lips to curve upward in a small smile for the sake of his sight-burdened husband. "But not here. We go home, look in her file, call Sabine. She's run away from other homes before; she could tell us where Jyn is likely to go if not here." Still, Chirrut did not hear the sound or feel the rumble of the engine starting. He understood how Baze felt. "It's miles from home to here, and we know there was money missing. She didn't walk. A cab would have had her here an hour ago even with commute traffic, and the bus would have dropped her off around the corner at least thirty minutes ago."

"I hate thinking about her wandering the streets alone," Baze admitted. "She's just a kid. A twelve-year-old girl. It's not safe."

"Out of all the twelve-year-old girls in existence, Jyn would be the one I'd most trust to get where she's going safely," Chirrut replied softly. "She's a fighter, that one."

* * *

Jyn sat up straight from where she'd been slouched in her seat, gazing out the window. "That sign says we just entered the city of Tatooine!"

"Yep. More of a town, really. Nothing much to see in these parts but sand and dunes." Pao kept facing forward, but his eyes flicked to her through the rearview mirror.

"When you said far south…did you mean across the border?" Jyn asked.

"We'll be crossing in a few minutes."

"Something big is happening," she said. Her mind added, _and almost without me._ But no, Saw had sent Pao for her; she had to hold onto that.

"It's not my place to tell you anything," the man said, all of a sudden tight-lipped. "Whatever he wants you to know, Saw will tell you himself. My job is just to bring you to him."

"Do you have my passport?" Jyn found herself asking. "Do I _have_ a passport?"

"'Course you do—your accent's not from this side of the Mon Cala Ocean, is it? But that one's not the one we'll be using today." He removed something from the glove compartment, then tossed a small blue booklet into the back. "Flip through it. I don't anticipate we'll get stopped but it's better safe than sorry."

"This is fake," Jyn said, turning it over in her hands, trying to reconcile that fact with the authentic-looking passport she held in her hands. It certainly didn't _look_ fake. She opened it. The passport had a picture of her that she remembered Saw taking a year or so ago—unsmiling, eyes dark and serious, against the blank wall of the living room for a plain backdrop.

Surname / Nom / Apellidos: HALLIK  
Given Names / Prénoms / Nombres: LIANA  
Nationality / Nationalité / Nacionalidad: REPUBLIC OF FREE STATES  
Date of birth / Date de naissance / Fecha de nacimiento: 15 SEPT 2004  
Place of birth / Lieu de naissance / Lugar de nacimiento: JEDHA, RFS  
Date of Issue / Date de déliorance / Fecha de expedición: 21 APR 2015  
Date of expiration / Date d'expiration / Fecha de caducidad: 15 SEPT 2022  
Sex / Sexe / Sexo: F  
Authority / Autorité / Autoridad: REPUBLIC OF FREE STATES DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Liana Hallik and Jyn had a few things in common. Their gender, obviously. Their birthday, except Liana's was off by a year. And Jyn was Coruscanti, originally, not of the Republic.

"Won't my accent give it away?" Jyn asked.

"Look in the back." She turned the pages to find date stamps with the insignias of Coruscant and the Republic on them. "Liana spent most of her life in Coruscant." Jyn passed the booklet up front again and Pao tucked it away. Though they'd passed the "border"—marked by a weathered welcome sign—the car was slowing down for the traffic ahead, a line of cars at least seven deep, all headed for a set of low buildings among the sand dunes.

"Long line," Jyn observed.

"Soon as we get past this dune, you'll be able to catch a glimpse of the opposite side of the highway—the side coming into the Republic—and then you'll see what a long line looks like," Pao snorted, hands gripping the wheel tightly. "A lot of trafficking going through here. On our end, that's mostly what they're trying to stop. The way we're going now, it's mostly just bureaucratic nonsense."

Another few minutes and they reached the front of the line, the way barred by an iron gate. Pao already had his window rolled down to talk to the border patrol officer. She shone a flashlight into the car, peering through the windows. "She your daughter?" the woman asked, adjusting her clipboard in the crook of her arm.

"Yes. Emeric Hallik, and my daughter Liana."

"You got papers?"

"Right here." He handed her two booklets, one Jyn's and one she assumed was a forgery of his own.

The woman examined them. "Reason for your visit?"

"Seeing some old friends who recently moved here," Pao answered easily, lips forming the lie as easily as if it was the truth.

"Any weapons, drugs, or other illegal items in your car?"

"No."

It was another few moments of silence before she took a stamp out of her pocket and pressed it to the pages of both booklets. "All right, go on through." She nodded to the person behind the glass window who pressed the button to open the iron gate and handed Pao back their passports. He drove the car through and then they were on their way again, streaking across the highway as soon as the border patrol station had disappeared behind another sand dune behind them.

"How long now?" Jyn asked, trying not to sound too eager around the lump in her throat.

"Not long at all." Pao tossed her a handheld radio. "Frequency 1610, wait three seconds and then press the talk button twice." Jyn caught it and did as she was told. Soon after, the radio erupted in two short bursts of static, mimicking what she had just sent. "You know Morse code?" Pao checked. Jyn nodded. "Okay. Send P-K-G I-N-C-M-N-G P-A-O."

Jyn bit her lip, concentrating, finger hovering over the talk button. When she had assembled it in her head, she began to click, counting it out. Dot dash dash dot pause dash dot dash pause dash dash dot. Long pause. Dot dot pause dash dot pause dash dot dash dot pause dash dash pause dash dot pause dash dash dot. Long pause, in which she took in a deep breath. Dot dash dash dot pause dot dash pause dash dash dash.

"Not bad," Pao complimented, then fell silent.

More static in reply, but without paper Jyn lost track of the message after L-C-T-N. "Did you get it?" she asked once she was sure the static had stopped.

"Yes. We're here." Startled, Jyn jerked her head up from the radio to look out the window. The sand dunes had given way to dry rocks and tufts of grass upon which a small city had been built. They seemed to be in some sort of warehouse district, full of spacious yet somewhat dilapidated rust-colored buildings. She felt her heart leap up into her throat, nearly choking her, and grabbed her arms, digging her nails into them as much as she could through her jacket. When Pao had parked, she reluctantly removed them from her sleeves and obediently got out after him, pulling her backpack after her.

"I'll take that." Pao said. Jyn swallowed but relinquished it, feeling her mother's crystal nestled just below her collarbone and reflecting back her body heat. She was not dressed for the weather, Jyn realized as soon as she stepped out of the car. The very dirt was sunbaked, an oppressive heat smothering her from all sides. "This way," Pao directed, leading her to the door of one of the warehouses. It opened to admit him as he approached, shadowy men lurking behind it. A few became less shadowy and then just men as they stepped into the light and headed for the car, Pao tossing the keys after them. "They have to hide it, or we're too out in the open," he explained as they entered the dimly lit warehouse. The heat inside was a dank heat, flavored with sweat and gunpowder instead of asphalt and dust. Men and a few equally-muscled women stood in groups everywhere, first talking in low voices and then gazing at her curiously as they passed and making her uncomfortable under their stares. Their faces evoked far-gone memories within her and she had the feeling she had known most of them for brief snatches of time since forgotten. Most had ignored her when they trained in Saw's house, how she preferred it. A few didn't.

Jyn held her head high—she belonged here, she _did_ , Saw _wanted_ her—and tried not to think about that.

As word of their arrival spread, the men seemed to part before them, leaving a clear path to the man Jyn had been waiting to see.

"Saw!" Jyn burst out. Her legs itched to run to him, but something kept her joints rigid, walking in step with Pao. They stopped in front of him, a hulk of a man completely outfitted in tac gear.

"She came, sir," Pao said. "Just like you said."

For a long, horrible moment, Saw just stared at her, something unreadable in the depths of his gaze. Then he jerked his head behind him, turning and stomping off towards a door so nondescript that if he hadn't yanked it open Jyn would have thought it part of the wall. She followed him with shaky steps, and Pao followed her.

The inside was set up like a tactical coordination center. Blueprints to some building were strewn across the large table. Along the walls, crates of weapons and ammunition had been haphazardly stacked. Despite all this, Jyn knew this must be the place Saw claimed for himself in the warehouse. Four walls, privacy from prying eyes and ears—this was Saw, militant as she had ever seen him, and just as secretive.

"Jyn," Saw grunted finally, facing her from around the other side of the table. He dragged his eyes up to meet hers, searching her face. "Is it really you?"

"Who else would it be?" she found herself saying back. This was not how she had expected their reunion to go, not how she'd hoped and dreamed it would. Hopes and dreams were childish and stupid—she was supposed to have learned that years ago, and was reminded of that now.

"It's a trap, isn't it?" He was still looking at her oddly, full of sadness and something she couldn't place. Something that scared her. "You, here. After she took you away. After I didn't stop her." Saw gazed harshly at her, as if trying to peer into her very soul. "Now, of all times…mere hours before we make our move…" The increasing intensity in his eyes made her want to bolt, but Jyn was frozen in place. "Did they… _send_ you?" It was the rasp of a broken man.

"Who?" Jyn asked, but Saw didn't seem to hear her.

"Did you come here…to kill me?" Saw looked at her, eyes glazed and painful, before something seemed to snap within him. In two quick strides, he was towering over her. His large, calloused hands grabbed her shoulders, shaking her roughly. His voice, now powerful and filled with rage, thundered above her head. "Do they think that will stop us?"

"Sir!" Pao protested somewhere behind her, but Saw didn't stop.

"TELL ME!" He gave her one final shake and Jyn felt her jaw bite closed on her tongue, metallic blood filling her mouth.

"I came back to you," Jyn said through the terror filling her, invading every fiber of her being. "I ran away, and I came back to you."

Saw Gerrera stilled. The shaking stopped. "Jyn?" he asked again, and he swept away from her, back across the room, beginning to pace with long strides. She thought about edging toward the door, she thought about trying to escape, she thought that if she pressed her nails any harder into the sleeves of her jacket they'd make it in to the skin of her arms, but she was rooted to the spot, watching the man she'd trusted storm back and forth, somehow transformed in the week she'd been gone from a figure of stability to one of insensate unpredictability.

Finally he stopped, looked up. This time, his voice was soft. "I am sorry, Jyn. I had to know." He seemed only to notice then the placement of her fingers, the defensive stance of her body, the feet pointed towards the door with tensed muscles. "Jyn," he said, stronger this time. "Soldier, report."

With those words, Jyn felt things slot back into place in her mind. He had never called her that before, like he called the rest of the men he had trained. Jyn had worked for that title, had waited for the day when she could be of service, the day she could start to repay the debt she owed him for taking her in all those years ago. This was the Saw she knew back, and this was him giving her the role she was meant to have.

Jyn stood up straighter, thrusting her hands down at her sides, fists curled. "I escaped. They bolted the window in my room, but I stole a knife and opened it. I remembered where the bus route went from the maps of Jedha trained me with."

"Good," Saw said, coming to a stop in front of her. "Did they hurt you?"

Chirrut and Baze hadn't touched her, had been nothing but kind. Jyn pushed away her guilt. "No."

"Then why come back?" he asked carefully.

"For you," Jyn replied, feeling the truthfulness of the words inflate her chest, filling her with a sense of rightness. "This is where I belong."

"You care not for the cause?"

The contented balloon in Jyn's chest popped abruptly, leaving her blinking. "…If you care about it, then I do too. It's what you've been training me for, right?"

"If you do not _believe_ …" Saw shook his head. "Tell me, Jyn—can you stand to see the Imperial flag reign across this land?"

"I don't—"

"Can you stand to see it reign across _more land_?" He swept his right arm outward. "Every day they push further, every day they are not stopped they grow stronger. They expand their empire, while the world sits around and does nothing… Are you one of that world, Jyn?" She could hear the challenge in his tone. "Or will you stand for something more, as your father and mother did and as I do? Are you with me? Are you with the militia?"

The words jolted her, images of her parents—Papa's smile, Mama's gentle scolding, a knock at the door, the man in white, Mama lying in a pool of blood inches from Jyn's face—flashing through her mind. "I'm with you," Jyn said clearly, trying her best to sound bold, fearless. As a soldier would.

Saw looked past her to Pao. "Get her some gear," he instructed. "And spread the word—we move at sundown."


	8. She Gets a Blaster?

**Sorry this took so long. Between two midterms, a visit home, and an essay I had little time or energy to write, it was slow going to say the least. Next one hopefully will be written more quickly!**

* * *

 **Chapter 8**  
 **She Gets a Blaster?**

Contrary to when she'd arrived, the militia base was now a flurry of activity. Men raced by her now holding anything from a twin set of pistols to an assault rifle, wearing black and various shades of camouflage. Jyn watched them hurry around her from where she was perched between two crates, out of the way and observing everything. Pao materialized out of the hubbub to fetch her with one beckoning hand. "Let's get you a tac vest," he said, leading her to the makeshift armory she'd seen from her perch. It was walled off from the rest of the warehouse by stacks of cases and crates stretching high above Jyn's head and dusty, semi-translucent curtains hung from the ceiling that at one time might have been white but certainly weren't now. Pao swept aside the curtain and motioned her inside, tossing something black, cloth-like, and heavy at her before she'd taken more than a few steps.

It was a vest, and a few seconds later Jun had figured out how to slip her arms through the holes on the sides and zip the front. Even though she was wearing her jacket underneath, the vest hung loosely on her, made for broader shoulders and coming down to her mid-thigh.

But, she felt like one of Saw's soldiers wearing it and that was all that mattered to Jyn.

"Smallest size we have," Pao told her, handing her a thick belt. It had a holster already attached to it, empty. Jyn stared at it silently, unsure whether to say something or not. "You fired one of these before?" He handed the accompanying blaster to her anyway and Jyn's small fingers wrapped around it. It was heavier than she expected when he let go, but she didn't think he noticed the sudden dip her arm made burdened with its sudden weight. Jyn quickly strapped the gun into her holster. They emerged from the makeshift armory to find the rest of the men and women congregating in a silent mass, faces solemn and pointed toward where Saw had appeared, preparing to speak. Jyn slipped through the crowd and climbed atop a crate a few feet away to watch.

"The time has come," Saw said, raspy voice loud and clear. "The tyrannical rule of the Empire has gone on long enough. While the world does nothing, they have pushed their borders further south, putting more people under their reign of terror. Now, they build a new weapon powered by a mineral they have sucked out of the scorched earth they leave in their wake. The weapon is unique, and not yet complete. Now is the time to strike." He turned his head, surveying every last one of them with a piercing brown gaze. "Gather your wits, gather your weapons. We are few while they are many, but with nothing left to lose, just one man with a sharp stick can take the day. We have much more than sharp sticks." There was a murmur of approval, accompanied by jagged smiles that faded all too quickly from faces. "We'll load ourselves into the back of the trucks. When we arrive, take cover behind them. An explosion from the inside will take out the facility's entrance blast door, but getting to it will be a run across no man's land. After that, you know what we're looking for—find it, get out. As soon as we have it, we make for the border.. Any questions?"

From somewhere in the back, a woman: "Acceptable casualties, sir?"

"The more of them we kill, the fewer there are to mount a pursuit," Saw replied bluntly.

A man this time. Jyn located him as near the front, with a thick mustache and hawk-like eyes focused on her. "Why does _she_ get a blaster?" Murmurs ran through the assembled group and Jyn was caught between setting her jaw and wanting to disappear. "We're short on ammo as it is, sir. Excuse me for asking, but…what exactly is her role here?"

"She's just a kid," another voice added.

For a moment, Saw was silent, staring at the first man who had spoken. The rest shuffled away from him on both sides, and he visibly swallowed. Then, slowly, Saw turned his head to look at her. "Jyn," he spoke softly. "You will not carry a gun for this mission."

Her cheeks flamed against her will, but she unbuckled the holster with fumbling fingers hot with shame. "Yes, Saw." She was stupid to think his fighters viewed her as one of their own, much less Saw think of her the same way—as the same usefulness—as the other men.

"Anything else?" Saw demanded. No one dared speak up again, and he nodded, satisfied. "We move out an hour before dawn." He raised a fist in the air. "Down with the Empire."

"Down with the Empire!" the assembled men shouted back before dispersing. Jyn's mouth twisted unhappily but she remained silent through the rallying cry. Saw disappeared back into his command center, and Pao came up to her carrying a lump of rough cloth that turned out to be a burlap sack.

"I suggest getting as much sleep as possible before trying to take down an illegitimate but expanding fascist regime," he deadpanned, spreading the sack out on the ground. "I'll wake you when it's time."

"You won't leave me behind?" Jyn asked, gazing after Saw.

"I'll wake you," Pao repeated.

And so he did, what felt like five minutes later with a rough shake to her shoulder. Jyn awakened quickly, adrenaline shooting through her veins at the reminder of what they were about to do—the men moving about under the dim light of old grimy bulbs, the sound of clomping boots, the smell of gunpowder. Buffeted by the stream of men heading out to the trucks, Jyn let herself fall in with the flow of them until suddenly Saw was pulling her away. "You ride with me, my child," he rasped. Feeling faintly heartened by his words of affection— _my child_ , although she still wanted to be _soldier_ —she followed him instead to the vehicle at the head of the caravan of six cars. Jyn climbed into the open back without Saw's help, crouching low as they had been instructed. Saw knelt beside her, checking the clips on his belt. More men and a raven-haired woman climbed in as well, leaving the seats in the vans empty but enabling a faster deploy.

"Are you disappointed in me?" Saw asked in a quiet voice once they had started moving, bumping and jostling shoulders with everyone in the back of the truck as it rumbled over the rough patches in the road. The night was cold, and Jyn tugged her jacket tighter around herself.

"No, of course not," Jyn promised, not even knowing whether he as referring to his abandonment of her to Sabine, his less-than-warm welcome upon her arrival, or his stripping her of her blaster. It didn't matter, really—Saw was the closest thing to a home she'd ever known, and she would forgive him the world if it meant she could be here beside him.

"You are integral to the plan," Saw told her. "Even without a blaster."

Jyn frowned, heart thudding unevenly in her chest. "What are you talking about?"

"You are small enough to slip through the old access tunnel to the compound and open the blast door for us. The tunnel was blocked off long ago, but we have secretly chipped away enough for someone small to get through." He placed his hands on her shoulders, rocking with the movement of the truck. "Once inside, you can place charges directly on the blast doors. A frontal assault will cost many lives, but if you can open that door for us…"

Jyn nodded. "I can do it."

"I know you can." Saw graced her with one of his rare smiles. "You are a good soldier, Jyn. Galen would be proud."

It was another few minutes until the trucks stopped at their destination and the time was spent with Saw reviewing the mechanics of of explosives detonation with Jyn. The blocks of tan-colored substance were kept in a black pouch at Saw's belt, which he transferred over to her. "Repeat it back to me," he instructed.

"Peel the backing and stick the explosives to the seams in the door. Two bricks. Push the detonator in fully and press the button to activate it. Red circling light means they're armed. Remove the safety and flip the switch once I'm thirty feet away and around a corner," Jyn listed off.

"And cover?"

"My ears. And look away."

"Good. You're ready." Saw gave her a nod, and she nodded back solemnly, strapping the pouch to her belt.

When the caravan stopped, Saw gave the signal and all of the fighters dropped out of the trucks one by one, boots impacting the ground as silently as possible. They huddled, hands on their weapons, along the sides of the trucks not facing the facility. Because they had gotten in first, Jyn and Saw wer the last out, hitting the dirt among rustles of tense, waiting men. Saw led her by the arm to a manhole cover half-hidden by soil, which he lifted upward with his bare hands. Jyn peered in but couldn't see anything in the gray hour before dawn. Before she had time to react, Saw was gripping her under the shoulders and lifting her into the pit.

It's just like the one in the backyard, Jyn told herself as she descended. She would not fail.

She _could not_ fail Saw.

When her feet hit solid ground again, it was a jarring jolt that sent tingles of pain through Jyn's ankles but not nearly as bad as falling out of Chirrut and Baze's tree. Caught off guard by the thought, Jyn paused, biting her lip. They couldn't be _too_ worried about her, right? This wasn't Jyn's first disappearance from a foster home; surely they had on some level expected this. From what Jyn had seen, they were good foster parents, the kind she had heard unlikely tales about when she was younger and in the system. They would have no trouble getting another kid if they wanted one. A better one than Jyn, one without a file painted in red flag words like _rebellious_ and _insolent_.

And they still had Bodhi.

"Jyn," came Saw's voice from above. She startled, then quickly put Chirrut and Baze out of her mind.

"Going for the facility now," she responded, just loud enough for him to hear her. Then, feeling her way forward through the black, she headed off into the darkness.

* * *

When Jyn emerged from the tunnel and her mission—ribs and midsection scratched and bruised from the rocky hole she'd had to slide through on her stomach, fingertips raw and smarting from hauling herself back up to the surface, face and forearms smudged with soot from the explosion that had quite possibly singed off her eyebrows and taken years off the life of her ears—only Pao was waiting for her. The soldier stood with his back to the manhole, large automatic weapon slung cross-body over one shoulder and his right forefinger near the trigger, left hand resting on top of the gun. He turned as she approached. "Well done," he praised her, gesturing backwards at the facility in flames and towards the sound of blasterfire.

"The Imperials will never know what hit them," Jyn said, feeling the corners of her lips twitch upward in what was not quite a smile. Her hands were shaking, so she hid them behind her back, standing straight and tall and alert.

"Jyn Erso hit them," Pao replied jauntily. He glanced at the wreckage, then at Jyn. "Not sure how I feel about getting stuck on babysitting duty again though."

Immediately Jyn scowled. Anger rising hot and molten within her and dispelling any remaining nerves from her task. "I'm not a baby! I can fight as good as any of you."

"You know, I might just believe you," Pao said. He didn't sound as if he was humoring her. Then his eyes widened and he lifted his gun in her direction, the loud report sounding off. Jyn whipped around to see a man stumble and fall barely a foot from the manhole, a dark bullet hole marring his forehead. It oozed dark blood as he fell forward at Jyn's feet, inches from her toes.

A sharp, nasty taste rose from deep in Jyn's throat but she could not look away. Her stomach clenched painfully, heartbeat thundering in her ears.

This man had been about to kill her.

Pao shot him.

Now he was dead.

At her feet.

Just like—

Just like before.

"Help me guard the vans," Pao said. Jyn didn't know how much time had passed staring at the body, but when she raised her head, her eyes slipped past him and she pointed wordlessly, still incapable of speech. A long trail of men raced toward them from the facility at top speed, Saw at the forefront, just distinguishable in the glow of the scarcely-risen sun. "Nevermind, start 'er up." Pao said, following her gaze and tossing her a set of keys. She stared at them dumbly. "Hey," Pao shook her shoulder roughly. "Start up the van." He made for the first truck in the caravan so Jyn headed blindly to the next in line, trying to get her thoughts in line. It took two tries for her shaking hands to get the key into the small metal slot, but she heard the engine roar to life finally as she turned the ignition. She hopped out of the passenger seat at the same time as Saw reached the caravan, directing the men into the vans with hoarse shouts. She lost him in the flurry of movement that followed, but then suddenly he was standing by her side.

"Follow me to the truck," Saw commanded, striding toward the front. Jyn trailed after him obediently. He hadn't asked her how it went—well, the explosion should have made _that_ obvious—nor if she was injured. He treated her like a soldier, and Jyn was proud of that. Her pride helped clear away some of the fog in her brain, sweeping it away like dusty cobwebs.

By the plan, she was about to climb into the truck's interior so as to not arouse suspicion at the border, but Saw's strong forearm across her chest stopped her in her tracks. "Take this." He thrust a metal canister into her hands. "It is what we came for, the most important strike against them we have made in a generation." He helped her into the back of the truck, gesturing to a corner of it and picking up a black tarp.

"What is it, Saw?"

"The power cell to a weapon prototype. It will take them years to collect the materials for another one since they are so rare, but with it, they could kill hundreds at a time. Entire villages wiped out." He motioned for her to sit, then draped the tarp over her until only her head was visible. "They will come after us. You must protect the package. If they search the trucks, run with it as far as you can across the border and hide. We will come get you after, but this—" He touched a solemn fingertip to the metal's surface. "—must be kept safe at all costs. Do you understand?" Jyn nodded, hugging the canister to her chest. He searched her face. "What age are you this year, my child?"

"Twelve."

"Twelve," Saw sighed. "Twelve is a good age." He said nothing else, just pulled the tarp over her. A few seconds later, the truck rumbled forward along the road.

Jyn huddled in the back of the truck underneath the black tarp and kept covered as best she could, flying upward slightly at every bump in the road and wishing it was flatter. At one point a bump came so suddenly that her teeth clamped down on her tongue hard enough to draw blood and another nearly had her flying over the side of the truck. She kept one hand clamped as tightly as she could against the warm metal of the truck's cargo floor and the other wrapped around the small canister tucked against her body.

Then, the truck stopped. For a moment, Jyn was relieved, no longer having to fear bouncing right out of the back of the truck.

But why had they stopped? Dare she peek out from behind the tarp? She could be seen. But how could she know if she needed to run for the border if she couldn't see the threat approaching?

She would wait sixty seconds, she compromised with herself. Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight…

Why had Saw chosen her for this task?

…fifty-one, fifty, forty-nine…

Would he still have if he'd known how she'd frozen in front of a man trying to kill her?

…forty-four, forty-three, forty-two…

The image of the man collapsed on the ground was still painted behind her eyelids.

…thirty-eight, thirty-seven, thirty-six…

If she'd had a blaster, she could have defended herself.

…thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight…

Could she have?

…twenty-one, twenty, nineteen…

Saw had trained her in how to kill, but Jyn was unsure she know _how_ to _kill_.

…eleven, ten, nine…

The morning seemed to have progressed enough for the cold to dissipate. It was growing rather hot under the black tarp…

…three, two, _one_ …

Her head jerked out from behind the tarp before Jyn had a chance to second-guess herself. Her vision flared at the brightness, and it was a full second before she was able to see. Six or so cars of washed out blues, greens, or reds were lined up behind the caravan visible by the curve of the road, and two military trucks were pulled up alongside, the men inside it waving long guns. As she watched, the military vehicles moved on to the next car in line, creeping closer. They were searching the cars in line at the border, she realized, and sending their occupants scurrying for cover. This was exactly what Saw had warned her about. Should she jump out now? Would they see her; would that be giving herself away? How far away were they from the border?

Jyn twisted her head around, leaning out over the side of the truck to look forward. The customs building was low and grey and two hundred yards from where she huddled, hot on the outside but somehow feeling cold running through her veins, sweaty and terrified. The truck beneath her lurched and her heart jumped into her throat before she realized that their vehicle was just moving forward, inching upward in the line to get across the border into the Republic. She pulled the tarp over herself again but by the time she was covered the truck had stopped again. Her breath came in harsh puffs of warm fog, though her mouth and throat felt dry and parched. Jyn swallowed reflexively, only to find it did not get rid of the lump in her throat nor the rising feeling of nausea that came with it. She waited, arms wrapped around Saw's precious canister and fingernails gripping the skin of her arms through her leather jacket, torn with what to do and wishing her guardian would direct her. By her count, the truck lurched forward a few paces every couple minutes, but she could hear the shouts of the military men—the Imperials—coming ever closer.

Then, suddenly, one such voice sounded right next to her ear. "All of you! Out of the truck, now. We are conducting a search for stolen government property in the name of President Palpatine." She heard the doors of her truck opening, heard the heavy _thunk_ of Saw's boots hitting the ground. "You, search the back of this truck. Check under that tarp."

Fire tinged her fingertips and toes at the words; her hands clutched the canister tightly. She tried to curl up into a ball, but no, that wasn't what she was supposed to do, she had to run, she had to fight—

There was a loud clang and then clomping footsteps approached. The tarp was whipped off of her in a blaze of sunlight, adrenaline singing in her veins. Her shoe connected with the man's face, causing him to stumble backward with a stream of scarlet spurting from his nostrils. She scrambled over the side of the truck, landing with both hands on the ground and pebbles pricking her palms. The canister skittered across the dusty road and Jyn launched herself after it, scooping it up with both hands and sprinting in the direction of the squat building that was her only marker of the border as shouts of alarm, confusion, and outrage broke out behind her.

She knew, in her heart of hearts, that she wasn't going to make it. They had longer, fully-grown legs. They had official military training. They had guns, with bullets. She could die today. Right here, right now.

The thought terrified her, spurring her aching muscles and fiery lungs in one last flight of panic. When she looked up, she was—somehow, miraculously—flying past the gray customs building. She had made it; she had survived…

"HEY!" Something massive collided into her side, knocking her sprawling as stars danced in front of her eyes.

"Wait—you're a kid," a male voice exclaimed, and the heavy weight smothering her body was quickly removed. The man standing over her slowly came into focus. He looked past her, back the way she'd came, expression tightening. "Girl," he got in her face. "Girl, are you a citizen of the Republic?" He shook her roughly by the shoulders. "Are you a citizen?"

Jyn nodded dumbly, feeling her brain rattle in her skull at the movement.

"Stay here." It wasn't as if Jyn had any choice. The rush given to her by her own fear had completely dissipated, although the fear lingered as an ashen taste in her mouth and a fluttering heartbeat. She could only sit up gently, dazed, and watch the ensuing shouting match between the man who had smashed into her and the Imperials chasing behind. They stood with spread legs planted firmly in the dirt across from one another. "She's just a child!"

"Running with the Partisans? One terrorist is as bad as another, no matter the age. Hand her over, now."

"She is a citizen of the Republic and on our side of the border. Are you going to go to war with the Republic over this girl?"

The leader on the opposite side flushed. "You _will_ cooperate with our investigation!"

"I don't see an investigation here, just a witch hunt. For a kid. You wanted cooperation, your country should have signed the extradition treaty two months ago. _You_ cooperate with _us_ in the investigation or you get no say at all." The Imperial spat at his feet, but motioned his cohorts back towards their vehicles. As soon as they were out of sight, the man who had saved her plucked something black and rectangular off his belt, speaking into it quickly before walking back over to her.

"Up you get." He spied the canister. "What is that?"

Jyn hugged it to her chest. "It's mine."

He frowned and held out his hand. "Give it to me."

"No."

"You're already in a lot of trouble," the man said. "What's your name, girl?"

"Liana," Jyn replied obstinately. "Liana Hallik."

Then her arms were being pried apart and thrust behind her back by unseen forces and Jyn knew he had merely been distracting her so his men could get her from behind. The canister clattered to the ground and rolled to his feet. He picked it up. "Well, Liana, you're under arrest."

* * *

For only the fifth time in their twenty years together, Baze truly wished Chirrut wasn't blind. His husband's disability was something Baze would never hold against him, but right now, in this moment, Baze didn't quite trust himself to drive. Not down the street, not two hours to middle-of-nowhere Tatooine.

But Jyn needed them, so of course they would go.

Sabine Wren's call had been an absolute, utter relief. Jyn was found. Jyn was safe.

Jyn was also up against serious, adult-sounding charges. All while within another country. In all his expectations for how hard this foster placement could possibly be, he really hadn't factored _this_ possibility into the equation.

So yes, utter relief. And also the burning question: what are we going to _do_?

The first bit was easy. No, no matter how much he begged, Bodhi was not allowed to come. Chirrut had tried to calm him down but found it impossible, so with no other choice they dropped him and Kyber off at school and promise to be back in time to pick him up afterward.

The second bit was also doable, although Baze's foot pressed down the gas pedal a bit harder than was advisable and took the turns fast and sharp.

The third…

All Baze knew was that the faster he drove, the less likely it was that Jyn would slip through their fingers again. Never mind the fact Sabine had said Jyn had been arrested at the border. Never mind the fact that she had lied to a police officer to try to hide her name only to have her fingerprints oust her. Never mind the fact that the potential charges included trespassing, weapons smuggling, and robbery. Never mind the fact that her running away had caused them to have to go through an investigation by the foster system in which Sabine had searched the house and upset Bodhi and their normal lives.

All that mattered was that their newest child, a stubborn, closed-off, aggressive twelve-year-old named Jyn, was safe.

Sabine met them outside of the police station, a building surrounded by a few scraggly trees and desert. "Have you seen her?" Chirrut asked immediately.

"Yes."

"Is she all right?" Baze asked.

"As well as can be expected," the social worker replied, running one hand through her short hair. "You can go in and speak with her in a few minutes, but I wanted to update you on the situation first."

"Which is?" Baze can't help but be brusque.

"Jyn—unfortunately—is just old enough to be tried in juvenile court. The prosecution is being pressured by the government of the country Saw Gerrera invaded for a stringent punishment, but by our laws she cannot, at twelve, be tried as an adult. The judge selected for the case has a mixed bag as far as the leniency of his juvenile sentences."

"Her punishment will be decided by a judge and not a jury?"

"As this is juvenile court, it will be a judge," Sabine nodded.

Beside him, Chirrut shifted. "From your experience, what is the likely outcome for Jyn?" he asked.

She smiled wanly, no humor in it. "I have been assigned to the cases of dozens of kids facing charges in juvenile court but usually for things like drugs or robbery…nothing like this situation. Jyn has gotten herself into something with very little precedent. For me _and_ the judge."

"Will she be allowed to come home before the trial? Has a date been set?"

"She will not. It will take place tomorrow, so as a foster child who ran away from her guardians to commit the crimes she will spend tonight in a juvenile detention center." At the looks on their faces, Sabine added, "It's only one night, and there's nothing any of us can do about it. They were very clear on that point." She glanced back at the building behind her. "You'll want to be at the court tomorrow at three. You can see her now—but I would make a game plan before you go in."

Baze felt Chirrut reaching for his hand, so he closed his fingers around his husband's warm ones. "We still want her," Chirrut said, "no matter what she's done. That's our game plan."

"But she will face the consequences of her actions," Baze added. Chirrut squeezed his hand in agreement.

"There's a reason for the difficult cases I go to you." With a smile, Sabine wished them luck and excused herself, citing a home visit she had to make for another one of her cases.

Together, Baze and Chirrut walked inside the police station and, after filling out a lot of paperwork—which was all Baze's doing, since none of it was in Braille—and cutting through a lot of red tape, were escorted to Jyn's door. "Ready?" Baze murmured.

"Ready," Chirrut replied, more steadily than Baze felt. They pushed the door open, revealing their twelve-year-old seated at a metal table in a small room with harsh fluorescent lighting, making every speck of dust and dirt on Jyn's young face stand out in high relief. Her head jerked upward at the sight of them, a brief moment of shock followed by recoil. Her spine hit the back of the chair and her hands shot off the table to hide underneath it, except her right was cuffed to the tabletop and the sudden, reactionary movement brutally yanked her wrist against the unforgiving restraints. Baze inwardly winced at the sight, though Jyn's face, once more carefully schooled into suspicious and hostile, showed no indication of the pain she must be feeling.

Baze would feel it all for her, then. Would that he could.

"You came." Her voice was raspy but underneath almost accusatory.

"Should we not have?" Chirrut asked lightly. Immediately warning bells went off in Baze's head—did Chirrut _really_ want Jyn to answer that question? Baze could hear her potential responses in his head, _I don't want you here_ being the best and _I don't deserve it_ being the worst—but she merely shrugged, shoulders raising briefly before returning to their slump.

"You've made a mistake. We aren't going to abandon you for that," Baze said. Jyn was silent, staring at her hands.

"Do you believe us?" Chirrut asked.

"Then get me out of here." Her head rose, a familiar challenging fire blazing in her eyes. "If you—" She searched for the word. "— _care_ about me, you'll help me."

"We do care about you," Baze replied calmly. "But that doesn't mean you don't have to face the consequences of your actions."

"Saw wouldn't leave me in here," she baited them. Baze recognized the desperation.

"We will be there for your trial," Chirrut told her. "And, if you get sent to juvenile hall, we will be there for you when you get out. When this is all over, we will take you home. But until then you will own up to your own choices, as we all must do." Chirrut let that hang in the air a moment. Then in a gentler voice, "Is there anything you need from us now? We are here if you are scared, or if you want to talk."

"No. I'm fine." Jyn was staring down the surface of the table again. It was possible, Baze considered, that she was staring down at her own muddled reflection in the metal.

"We are glad you are safe, Jyn," Baze rumbled.

"We don't tell you this to add to your guilt, but just so you will know—we were very worried about you." Chirrut gripped Baze's hand even tighter. "Your place in our home is not in jeopardy, and we want you to know that."

"Fine."

They moved toward the door in unison, but Baze pulled back at the last second, stalling them both. "And Jyn—for the record, I don't see Saw here to bail you out."


	9. Stardust

**I know, I know. I don't even really have an excuse. This chapter kicked my butt and made me lose faith for a bit, but mostly it was just the fact that writer's block's a bitch. (Excuse my language; I've been rewatching Jessica Jones.)**

* * *

 **Chapter 9**  
 **Stardust**

Jyn hated the courtroom room from the moment she'd stepped foot inside it. She hated her seat, the way she was the placed as the center of attention of everyone in the room. She hated that she was cuffed to the table, trapped, unable to escape. She hated that Sabine sat on her right and a stranger on her left, a lawyer whose job seemed to consist of pointing out obvious facts and hoping the judge would take notice.

" _She's only twelve, your honor."_

" _This is her first offense, your honor."_

" _She was transported across the border by a man who was not and had never been her legal guardian, your honor."_

She hated that Chirrut and Baze sat in the first row of chairs behind her, their disappointed gazes setting fire to the back of her skull. She refused to even turn and look at them once, but she knew. What other expression could they possibly wear right now, watching their foster kid of all of nine days get reamed in juvenile court?

She also hated the fact that after her lawyer, it was her turn to speak. She hated that they made her swear to tell the truth. She hated that she did, albeit in short, clipped sentences that left out more details than they included.

Yes, she had known the plan beforehand. Most of it.

No, she did not vocally object to her part in it to Saw.

No, she had not thought about possible judicial consequences like those she faced today.

She also hated the judge for taking so long. Recess was something for elementary schoolers, not an adult in long black robes who had to "deliberate," whatever that meant.

But she hated the fact that his recess was over now more, because now her punishment would be decided and then meted out. Did she care what it was? No.

Yes, she absolutely did.

"It is my decision that the defendant be sentenced to two weeks at Eadu Juvenile Penitentiary," the judge stated once he had reached his stand. He then spoke to her directly. "I hope that you will view your time there as less of a punishment and more of a warning. Let this be your wake up call, Miss Erso. This is a road you do not want to go further down." Jyn did not meet his eyes, or anyone's eyes for that matter.

Then court was adjourned and Jyn's handcuffs were being released from the table, her body steered down the two steps to the main body of the courtroom by two men in uniform. Somehow she found herself staring at Chirrut and Baze's shoes—matching black dress shoes, one pair decidedly larger than the other. "Jyn," Baze said, and she forced herself to look up, meeting his gaze with as much bravado as she could muster. That seemed to be all the man wanted to say, however, because Chirrut was the one who stepped forward, his hands rising from his sides to rest gently on her shoulders. The movement was slow enough to give her time to duck away, but for some reason Jyn let them fall, a warm weight that represented the first time Chirrut or Baze had ever touched her.

"We will be there when you get out," Chirrut told her. "We promise." Then the light touch was gone and the uniformed men were guiding her back to the police car, rough palms on her head to make sure she didn't hit it against the roof as they situated her in the back seat.

"Going to be an hour," the one who got into the driver's seat said.

Eadu Juvenile Penitentiary was a gray building the color of which Jyn associated with light pencil shading. It was surrounded by a tall barbed wire fence that Jyn doubted her ability to climb despite Saw's tutelage. Inside, her personal effects were handed over in a large plastic bag that she wasn't allowed to touch, so she watched as her possessions, most blocked from view behind her new leather jacket, were passed along, her mother's crystal necklace peeking out of one of the jacket's folds. There was a bit of paperwork for the cops and then one of the penitentiary staff undid her handcuffs and took her into a back room where she ordered her to strip. Jyn did, down to her underwear. She crossed her arms over her still-mostly-flat chest but the woman clucked her tongue and forced her arms apart. "Close your eyes; you don't want to get this in them," the woman promised, picking up an aerosol can from the side counter. Jyn had barely squeezed her eyes shut when she felt the cool mist hit her skin, and she breathed in at the contact, only to choke on the spray and begin to cough. "I would also advise you to hold your breath."

Her throat burned with the unexpected, harshly bitter taste, but she held still. Finally the hissing sound of the spray can stopped and a roll of clothing hit her chest. Jyn's arms closed automatically around the bundle before it could fall to the floor, but waited a few extra seconds to open her eyes for fear of the gas still lingering in the air around her head. It was and her eyes smarted, beginning to leak salty liquid as she rubbed them furiously. Then she wiped her cheeks quickly, trying to make it look like she hadn't cried—Jyn didn't know much about jail or penitentiary or whatever this was, but she knew you weren't supposed to cry. Weakness, as Saw had always said, got you killed.

"Hurry up, put those on," the woman barked at her. "We haven't got all day."

Jyn unrolled the bundle and pulled on the baggy orange pants and threw the shirt over her head, stuffing her arms through the correct holes. Her feet were shoeless but there was a pair of black socks. When she was done, the woman led her through a different door and off in a maze of hallways, eventually reaching one with a long line of identical doors set in it, each with a large window that was at least half Jyn's height. The woman unlocked one of them three doors down and snapped her fingers for Jyn to get inside. It was cramped, with a bed on each side—unmade—and a stack of blankets at the foot of each. "This is your room for the next two weeks. If you're lucky, you won't get a roommate in that time. You'll stay here until the dinner call in two hours, at which time your block will be escorted to the mess hall. Tomorrow you will receive a classroom and desk assignment and a group number for the mandated exercise hour. Lights go out at nine and on at six."

Then she shut and locked the door behind her and left Jyn alone.

* * *

Adjusting to life inside a guarded prison facility came easier than expected to Jyn. She kept her head down, face stony, and didn't speak a word unless spoken to, and even then only to adults whom she had to obey or face the consequences. It was on the fourth day—four out of fourteen—that the routine changed.

"Erso!" Her feet halted automatically, her hand holding open the door to the outside world through which the scent of sun-baked grass wafted into her nose, starkly different from the almost medicinally clean air of the penitentiary. She let the door go and turned around. A man stood there in the usual uniform, beckoning. "You're up for a session in counseling. This way."

Counseling. To Jyn, little could be worse. She'd had her share of shrinks probing around in her head, in her emotions. Two different ones employed by the state when she was first placed in foster care. Another from one of her homes, who thought she had a _problem_ they could _solve._ Another that she didn't even remember the reason for.

This one would be no different, she was sure. A petite woman, with graying, flyaway black hair tucked mostly into a bun at the back of her head. She was seated at a large desk when Jyn came in covered in neat stacks of file folders and a few picture frames, though their contents were faced away from Jyn. Also on the desk and which was facing her was a small name plaque: _DR. BREHA ORGANA, MD, PhD_. Almost immediately upon their entrance the woman stood up and gestured to two arm chairs that faced each other at a slight angle and sat down herself in one of them.

"Hello, Jyn," the woman said after Jyn had sat down on the very edge of the seat. "My name is Breha, and I'd like to talk to you about what brought you here and anything else you want to tell me about."

"That's nothing," Jyn told her immediately.

The woman gave a small smile. "Jyn, I know you have no reason to trust me, but I am only here to help you. Everything you say is confidential, and none of it can be used to lengthen your sentence or impact your life here in any way."

"I don't care about that."

"Then why don't you tell me what you do care about?"

"Getting out of here," Jyn said.

"And where do you hope to go, after you're released?" Jyn was silent. "Do you know where you _will_ go, afterwards?"

"Chirrut and Baze's, I guess. If they still want me," Jyn added defiantly. Her hands clenched in her lap, short fingernails digging into the flesh of her palms. "I don't think they will."

"Do you plan on staying there long, if they take you back?" Though the woman's tone was light, Jyn could hear the implication underneath.

"Depends." An idea sprang into her mind and she leaned forward, lit on fire with it. "What happened to Saw? Is he okay? Do the Imperials have him?"

"The Imperials?" Breha Organa raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid I don't know anything about what happened to the men you were with or your former guardian, Saw Gerrera."

"Oh." Jyn retracted into herself, arms crossing snugly against her chest. She leaned back in her chair as far as she could, giving the woman a sharp, guarded green gaze.

"I would like to talk about the incident, if that is all right with you." Breha did not pause for an answer, perhaps expecting—correctly—that she wouldn't get one. Or at least, not one that she wanted. "Do you know if anyone was killed, Jyn?"

"I don't know." The psychiatrist waited for a beat, two beats, face impassive. "Yes."

"Did you kill anyone?"

"No."

"Do you wish you had?" Jyn bit down hard on her tongue, stopping the honest answer from springing from her lips. Real soldiers fought, and when they fought, they killed. If she had been a real soldier, she would be with Saw right now, instead of locked up in juvie talking to a child's shrink and receiving her 'wake up call,' as the judge had put it. If she had been a real soldier, Saw would have been proud of her. "No," Jyn answered. To say anything else would have been stupidity of the highest order; she knew that much.

"All right." Breha let the matter go with more ease than Jyn was expecting. "I have something for you, Jyn—a letter from your father." Breha removed it from a slim folder on the table between them, a long, thin white envelope.

"Papa is alive?" Jyn asked, voice cracking on the second syllable and the rest of the sentence coming out hoarse.

Breha nodded, though surprise was etched on her face. "Jyn, why did you think he wasn't?"

"The man in white…" She looked at her lap, hands curling into fists. Then her head shot upward, glaring at Breha. "Because if my father was alive, he would have come for me by now!"

"He can't, Jyn." Now the juvie psychiatrist only looked sorrowful. "He's in prison, serving sixty years." She caught the opening of her mouth. "And I can't tell you for what, because I don't know myself." She pushed the envelope across the table. "This came in the mail for you but I thought it best if you received it somewhere more private."

Jyn snatched it up. "Why is it open?" she demanded, looking at the slit across the top.

"They had to check its contents," Breha replied calmly, "seeing as you are both being held for straying on the wrong side of the law."

Jyn could feel the woman's eyes watching her as she turned the envelope over in her shaking hands. _JYN ERSO_ was written on the front in a handwriting she recognized from so long ago. She bit her lip. What would he say? What did she want him to say? What if what he said didn't live up to her expectations, though she herself had no idea what they were?

And she was supposed to do this, with Breha Organa MD, PhD and all the other superfluous letters on the placard sitting across from her.

But she had to.

She had to know what he said.

Papa.

She pulled the singular piece of white paper out and unfurled it carefully, setting the envelope bearing her name in her lap for safekeeping. For a moment, the letters in Galen's slanted script just swam insensibly in front of her eyes before she blinked away the liquid that had pooled there.

 _Dearest Jyn, my stardust,_

She couldn't do this. Not here, not like this, maybe not ever. Why had it taken him this long to write? Why now, when she had been thrown in juvie? Was it because he was disappointed in her? Ashamed of her? Jyn couldn't read that, know that, not when it could desecrate and defile her last memory of him, a memory she'd clung to in all her dark places.

But.

Papa.

"May I read this back in my room?" Jyn asked, the letter visibly shaking in her clenched hands. " _Alone_?"

For a moment, it looked like Breha was going to say no—eyes tightening, lips pursing, all the classic signs of an adult about to...how had her third foster father put it? _lay down the law_. But then she nodded. "Of course. You may go, Jyn. I'll inform the staff that you're excused from all other activities for the rest of today, and I'll see you first thing tomorrow." Maybe she saw the fear in her eyes, because Breha added gently, "You'll feel better after you read it, Jyn."

And so Jyn did, back in her cell, away from the prying eyes of the psychiatrist and the judgmental states of the other juvenile delinquents.

 _Dearest Jyn, my stardust,  
They have told me what you have done, what Saw has done to you. I do not know what you think of me now, six years later, but if you are willing I would like to offer my sincerest apologies._

 _When your mother and I knew Saw, he was not the same man as he is now. Maybe we should have known, looking, but we were young then ourselves, at a time when knowing how to fight and defend yourself seemed more like an asset for a young girl than a burden._

 _I do not know if you will ever get this. Like so many others of the letters I have sent you over the years, I fear it may never make it into your hands, or that if it does you will stuff it in a box, unopened, too angry at me to ever read it. I understand._

 _But if you are by some miracle reading these words, my stardust, know that all I want for you—all I have ever wanted for you—is for you to be happy. My happiness, of course, was always you and Lyra. Find what that means to you and hold onto it better than I have done. You are young yet, a mere twelve years old. There is still time for you to let go of what has happened—what we have done—to you. Find a family or build one for yourself, and if there are people you have found who want to love you, and love you right, let them in, no matter how hard it may be. Not everyone has made the same mistakes as I have. Not everyone will hurt you like I know I have._

 _And if you have found a family, no matter where or how or what it looks like, if you are able to love and be loved, then I am contented. No matter what, I am proud of you, Jyn._

 _With all my love,_

 _Papa_

When she was done, Jyn slid the letter back into its envelope, careful not to crease or bend any of its edges, and placed it to the side. Then she cried, huge sobs that spasmed out from her stomach and filled her face with heat and made her bare arms sticky with tears. She'd failed him, failed Papa. Even if it was by making the same mistakes he did, choosing Saw, she'd failed him. By ruining any chance of becoming—dare she, a foster child, say it— _part of the family_ with Chirrut and Baze, she had failed him. They might come to pick her up, they promised they would, but Jyn knew from experience that trust was something lost forever. They would be her legal guardians, and she would be their...their _problem_. Their leech. Their parasite.

Jyn didn't believe her father's last words. There was simply nothing in her to be proud of.

* * *

By the end of her stay at the Eadu Juvenile Penitentiary facility, the outside world seemed to Jyn like a bit of a long lost dream. Chirrut and Baze's house, a place in which she had resided for fewer days than in Eadu, formed a haze in her memory—a large house with stairs and warmth and plenty of food and Bodhi and Kyber. It was a place she hardly expected to be taken back to, much less invited with any sort of sincerity.

If they were anything like other foster families… Jyn knew this drill. Try to keep her, mostly for the check from the state or out of some semblance of obligation. Ostracization—from their other, purer, child, to keep him from picking up any of Jyn's bad habits or criminal tendencies. Ostracization from friends at school. Acting out. Causing trouble. Being sent back, or running away.

She wouldn't run away this time, Jyn promised herself as she was led out into the main hall of Eadu beyond the cells. She would take what was coming to her, with her head held high. Not that it would change the outcome, but at least she could _try_ for what her father wanted. Or at least, not act any more against it.

"Change, and we'll take you out to see them," the penitentiary staff member said before closing the door behind her. It was a small space, barely a closet, but Jyn had no trouble taking off her orange juvie garments and putting on the t-shirt and pants she had been wearing when she ran away. She stuffed the messy bundle into the man's arms as soon as he opened the door; he frowned and made her fold it into a somewhat neater stack before leading her toward the exit. A woman behind the desk in some sort of lobby looked at her over flat-rimmed glasses before unceremoniously dumping the plastic bag of Jyn's personal items on the counter.

Jyn opened it immediately, trapping her father's letter between her knees for safekeeping. She pulled out her brown leather jacket and hugged it to her chest briefly, comforted in its softness, and plunged her hand back into the bag to close her fingers around her mother's crystal somewhere underneath. She slipped the black cord over her head, in her haste not even bothering to pull her hair out from under it and instead settling the gem against her heart, where it belonged.

Her head rose automatically with the sound of the door opening, a guard pushing it and holding it while Chirrut and Baze stepped through. Chirrut first, despite his blindness, though his left hand rested gently on Baze's arm. She froze, staring at them, scarcely able to believe that they were there. They had kept their promise. They even seemed happy—happy to be here, happy to see her, it didn't matter which. And she… and she… She was holding the leather jacket Chirrut had bought for her simply because he'd known she liked it. The jacket she'd taken when she'd ran away. The jacket she had used to commit criminal acts with Saw. The jacket she'd betrayed Chirrut with.

Remorse welled up inside her, awful, awful remorse, guilt churning up her insides and leaving her raw—

"Come here," Baze said gently, and then she was running, sweeping the letter out from between her legs and hurtling towards them with it clutched in her hand.

They had come.

They cared.

It was enough.

Maybe Chirrut and Baze didn't want a soldier. Maybe they just wanted Jyn.

She—dare a foster child say it, and it was still much too early, and Jyn was still very, very scared—was going home.

* * *

 **1\. Yes, many (most?) psychiatrists don't have both an MD and a PhD but hey, Breha Organa's an overachiever.**  
 **2\. Credit for the tone and base content of much of Galen's letter goes to the extended scene of his hologram message featured in Alexander Freed's novelization of the movie.**  
 **3\. I don't know if a judge can actually sentence someone to so little time in juvie, but again, the countries in which Jyn and the others live are made up, so anything is possible ;)**


	10. The Face of a Friend

**I apologize in advance :P**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**  
 **The Face of a Friend**

Arguably, Kyber was the most excited to see her when they arrived at the house, jumping around her legs and attempting to lick her face and such, but Bodhi's thousand-watt grin was a close second. "I'm really glad you're back," he told her, and Jyn didn't know what to say so she just smiled uneasily back.

"You need food," Baze announced. "Comfort food. Do you like mac and cheese, Jyn?"

She nodded and he disappeared into the kitchen, Chirrut right behind him. Jyn looked at Bodhi, who gestured her up the stairs. "Your room is just like you left it," he assured her, a slight falter in his words betraying the younger boy's nerves. "I—I mean, I didn't touch any of your stuff while you were...away."

"It's okay." Kyber padded after them as Jyn peered into her bedroom, somehow—despite all indications to the contrary—feeling unwelcome. Bodhi didn't question it when she dropped her stuff in the doorway and sat down cross-legged just outside of it, just took to the floor next to her.

They were silent for a few moments. Jyn didn't know if the boy found the absence of conversation uncomfortable; she was too busy fighting the demons in her own head to watch for the signs.

The carpet was too soft.

Softness was weakness.

Weakness got you killed.

 _What about arrested?_ she told the Saw Gerrera in her head.

Jyn could almost see the light in his eyes, staring into hers as if he was right in front of her. " _For the cause_." She bit down on her tongue, hard, and tasted blood.

She was here now, not with him. Papa had given her a new cause in his letter—family. If Jyn was strong enough to seek it.

The sound of dissention drifted up the stairs and Jyn tensed, every muscle becoming taut. Her gaze immediately flicked to the stairs. She was no stranger to adults being passive-aggressive; she'd heard it done amongst each other—and to her face—enough times.

" _Chirrut, you seem to be missing a bit of butter."_

" _Nope, I cut it myself." Chirrut's voice was equally hard, equally strange._

" _The box says four tablespoons."_

" _Mm-hmm."_

" _That's not four tablespoons; that's half of one."_

" _Your sight must be deceiving you, Baze."_ Jyn's fingers clenched together into a fist, nails biting into her palms.

" _Your sight is non-existent!"_

" _Exactly. Nothing to deceive."_

"They're not fighting, you know," Bodhi murmured quietly.

"What?" Jyn asked, tongue thick in her throat.

"They're not angry with each other. They're teasing." The boy's eyes were wide and dark and innocent, and Jyn almost snapped at him to not be so naïve before Baze uttered a soft _"Chirrut…"_ and Jyn realized he was right.

It was odd, listening to the words' inflection that she'd heard a hundred times before, and knowing it didn't mean what she'd always been conditioned to think. The idea made her head hurt, along with everything else.

" _If you like, I can hunt down some very small spoons for the table. I'm sure this butter will be more than enough to fill four of them,"_ Chirrut offered.

" _That's not what it means,"_ Baze sighed. _"And this is why I do the baking in this house."_

When lunch was ready, Chirrut called the both of them down and placed steaming bowls of noodles covered in yellow-orange cheese. He also set a plate of cut apples in between them, and Jyn didn't even have to think about it before snapping one up and crunching it in her mouth. A shoveled spoonful of mac and cheese followed. "Slow down," Baze advised, but the warmth in his voice calmed Jyn's frayed nerves despite what might otherwise have been a rebuke.

She slowed.

Slightly.

Baze took care of the dishes while Bodhi and Jyn played fetch with Kyber in the backyard. The younger boy had to show her the correct way to wrap her fingers and wrist around a frisbee, but Kyber turned out to just as bad at catching as Jyn was at throwing so it didn't really matter.

 _Thunk_. Jyn's throw had just hit the fence ten feet away from Kyber's outstretched, wide-open mouth when Chirrut called them back inside. "Jyn," he addressed her, "school is nearly out for the day now, so we're going to pick up the work you've missed. We can either pick it up for you to start here or you can come with us and we'll drop you off at the tutoring program if you prefer."

The answer was easy; if she hadn't wanted to show Chirrut and Baze how behind she was—how stupid she was—before the two weeks in juvie, she definitely didn't want to now. "I'll go to tutoring."

Chirrut nodded. "All right, you can go ahead and get in the car. We'll be right there." Jyn walked into the garage with Kyber plodding along behind her. At the last second, Bodhi plucked the slobber-covered frisbee out of the dog's mouth and dropped it into her toy bin.

"You're coming too?"

"You're not the only one who missed school today," Bodhi said, flashing her a soft, quick smile.

Oh. Right. "Thanks," Jyn uttered. "For, um...wanting to be here."

Her foster brother grinned, and Jyn ducked her head to crawl into the backseat of the car to dispel the emotions rising up within her at the sight.

The ride to school was mostly silent, punctuated with the occasional attempt at conversation by Chirrut. Jyn stroked the top of Kyber's fluffy head absentmindedly, staring out the window. Saw was somewhere out there, she thought.

Papa was somewhere out there.

After Baze parked, they split into two groups. Chirrut, Bodhi, and the dog went to go pick up his missed work, while Baze let her lead the way to the sixth grade classroom. School looked to have been out for no more than ten minutes—they had had no trouble finding a parking spot but there were still a few kids running around with backpacks on. Luckily, Jyn didn't know any of them and they didn't know her, so no one stopped to talk. Baze knocked on her classroom door before walking in, Jyn trailing behind him.

"Jyn," Mr. Draven said, standing up from his desk. "It's good to see you back."

Unsure what to say, Jyn nodded.

"I have the work you missed," the teacher told her, lifting up a manila folder stuffed with a veritable stack of papers. He affixed her with a somewhat stern gaze. "I hope you won't be missing any more school in the future. You have a lot of catching up to do."

It was a choice between abashment and explosive anger, and for a moment Jyn honestly didn't know which it was going to be. But Baze was a steadying presence at her side and she found her head ducking downward and giving a slight shake of contrition. "I'll try, Mr. Draven."

"I look forward to it." He handed Baze the folder. "See you tomorrow, Jyn."

Once they were out of the classroom, Baze dropped most of the contents of the manila folder into her backpack that he was wearing slung over one shoulder, fishing out only a few worksheets from the mess. She took them from him, walking quickly toward the tutoring classroom.

"See you in two hours," Baze smiled at her once she'd reached the door.

"Bye," was all Jyn could muster in return. She pushed open the door and sat down at one of the desks in the back, half-hoping to stay unnoticed.

"Jyn!" For a whisper, it was still incredibly loud, at the maximum volume a self-respecting peer tutor could allow himself in an otherwise quiet classroom. "You're back!"

"Hey, Cassian," she replied as he sat down at the desk in front of her, facing backward.

"Where've you been? You must have a lot of makeup work if you've been gone from school all this time."

Jyn purposefully ignored the first question. "Draven didn't go easy with it, no." She placed the sheets on her desk. "There's a whole other stack where these came from." Jyn reached for a pen from her backpack only to realize Baze had taken it with him. "Oh." Her face reddened. "I forgot a…"

"Use mine," Cassian said with a grin, pulling out a pencil that had previously been tucked behind his left ear.

"You're a dork," Jyn said, taking it.

"That's an interesting way of saying thank you," Cassian teased her.

"Well, a fellow dork once told me that tutoring's a thankless job," Jyn quipped back. She realized she was smiling too.

"But really," Cassian said quietly as Jyn bent over her first worksheet. "Where have you been? Did it have something to with your foster family?"

She looked at him, evaluating soft, earnest brown eyes. Jyn swallowed. "I don't want to talk about it."

He frowned. "Jyn, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm…" She stopped. Her eyes found the wood of the desk in front of her. "I was in juvie."

There was a long, strangled silence. Then a strangled, "Oh."

Jyn chanced a look up at him, only to find him staring at her with a mixture of disappointment and revulsion. "Cassian—"

"I'm sorry, I—" He stood up forcefully from his desk, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"Cassian!" She caught his wrist, _why?_ clear in her face.

"I don't want anything to do with criminals," Cassian said in a hard voice. "That's the whole reason I left Fest." His fingers curled around hers, gently but firmly removing her grip from his wrist. Then he walked away, shoulders slumped, without a backward glance.

Her eyes stung as she shifted her gaze to her worksheet again, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. The numbers swam in front of her, not matter how many times she blinked. After a few seconds, the sound of someone sitting down in front of her made her look up again, expecting it to be Cassian coming to—apologize? Anything, really, because at least then she could scream at him.

But it wasn't Cassian. The boy sitting in front of her was tall and lanky, gazing at her with expectant steel-gray eyes. "Cassian no longer wishes to work with you," he announced, still in a whisper, but quite a loud one. "I can see why." He tapped her still-blank paper. "Fifteen minutes have elapsed and you have accomplished nothing in this tutoring session. Your inefficiency is no doubt why Cassian no longer wishes to work with you." He blinked. "I'm Kay, by the way."

Jyn could only stare at him in shock.

" _Sixteen_ minutes with zero productivity. Are you going to work or not?"


	11. I Would Trust Her With My Life

**Chapter 11**  
 **I Would Trust Her With My Life**

If Chirrut and Baze had sensed Jyn's unhappiness when she got home, neither of them mentioned it. Dinner wasn't particularly quiet, with contented if not happy chatter between Baze, Chirrut, and Bodhi. After dinner, Jyn slunk upstairs to do some more make-up work desperately hoping she wasn't lost enough to need either of their help. Luckily, it turned out she didn't—Kay's brutal spelling tutelage had made the correct spellings of 'vacuum' and 'bureau' unlikely to ever leave her head again, not to mention all the brute yet helpful tips he had given her about math.

In the end only Kyber followed her and wouldn't leave her alone, placing her furry head on Jyn's leg as she worked at her desk. When it was finally an appropriate time for her to go to bed, Jyn brushed her teeth and turned her lights out without even being asked by Chirrut or Baze. Kyber wouldn't leave even then, forcing Jyn to pull her by the collar out the door and then shut it before the dog could follow her back in.

Five seconds later she almost regretted the action.

Almost.

The next morning, she woke to Baze calling her name from the doorway. She answered his "Good morning" with something unintelligible but not overtly standoffish—Jyn had nothing against him, after all. She ate breakfast like a zombie, mechanically spooning food into her mouth without thinking about it. She didn't want to face school. She didn't want to have to go back to tutoring, where Cassian would be but not speaking with her.

"Are you all right, Jyn?" Chirrut asked as he took her empty plate and bowl.

"'M fine," Jyn murmured, not missing the concerned squeeze of the hand Chirrut and Baze were exchanging. She stood up from the table and grabbed her backpack, heading for the car.

"Is Jyn okay?" she could hear Bodhi ask behind her.

She ended up being a little early in her march to the car, forcing her to sit alone in the backseat for at least five minutes before everyone else was ready to go. Jyn spent the time examining the upholstery instead, counting threads until she got distracted by her own thoughts and had to start over. She got up to three hundred fifty-one before the rest of them joined her.

The ride to school was altogether too short for Jyn's liking, but nevertheless she hopped out as soon as Baze unlocked the doors and made a beeline for her classroom. Maybe if she was early enough, she could turn in the worksheets she had finished to Mr. Draven before anyone else got there and thus avoid calling attention to her absence…

The first part of her plan worked great. No one was there besides her teacher, who seemed surprised with the number of completed worksheets she handed him after only one day. His eyebrows drew together as he began looking them over, but slowly relaxed as he saw that her answers were not rushed and shoddy and were—for the most part, Jyn hoped—right. "Well done, Jyn," Mr. Draven said, impressed against his will. "Very well done. This is a very good start."

Jyn nodded and walked toward her desk. And that was when the second part of her plan went wrong.

"Jyn!" came a shriek from the doorway. Somethin stout and warm barreled into her from the side, engulfing her in a giant bear hug. "You're back!"

"Geez, Leia, try not to strangle her," said another voice, coupled with a good-natured laugh. Luke.

For her part, Jyn stayed frozen in place until Leia had released her. Even after, in fact. "Earth to Jyn," Leia tapped her on the nose, causing Jyn to belatedly swat her hand away.

"Where have you been?"

"Did you get sick?"

"We missed you!"

Jyn blinked as they all stopped, looking at her expectantly for a response.

"We thought you might have left for good," Han told her. Leia punched him in the arm, eyebrows narrowing into a dangerous line.

"No, not yet," Jyn said, still somewhat dazed.

"So?" Wedge said.

"Where have you been?" Leia added in a slightly less demanding voice.

"I don't—" Jyn started, then stopped, her eyebrows knitting together into an angry line, matching the red hot emotions surging up from the pit of her stomach. "Just bugger off and leave me alone, okay?"

They all stared at her. Han's mouth remained open.

"I have a lot of work to catch up on," Jyn said, though she didn't owe them an explanation. The sudden whiteness of their faces had caused her momentary guilt, but it was just that—momentary. She sat down hard into her chair and stared down pointedly at the piece of schoolwork in front of her without really seeing it. There was a few more seconds' stunned silence, and then she heard them file into their own desks around her. She picked up her pencil, hearing the hiss of whispers begin around her, and felt her ears flame red knowing that they were whispering about her.

And this was exactly why she didn't have to feel bad about being rude to them. They were talking about her behind their backs. If she'd told them what they wanted to know—which was none of their business in the first place—they would have reacted exactly like Cassian and wanted nothing to do with her. No one wanted to be associated—much less _friends_ —with someone who caused as much trouble as Jyn. Certainly not these well-adjusted, pampered eleven-year-olds who had never had to hoard food or run five miles or throw a punch in their lives.

So it was better this way. Ended on her terms and not theirs.

She made it all the way through class to recess without having to look at them, despite the fact that Han and Wedge sat on either side of her, Luke in the front, and Leia diagonal. Even when Mr. Draven had them do some popcorn reading of the textbook and Luke called on her, she had kept her head down and read her passage like it had been any other student in the class. For recess, she elected to stay in the classroom and continue doing her makeup work, which Draven was more than happy to allow and pushed all of the other kids out the doors toward the blacktop and playground.

At lunch, Jyn briefly considered sitting with Bodhi in order to avoid them, but discarded the idea almost immediately. Bodhi had been nothing but kind to her while she took up residence in his house and took up the time and attention of Chirrut and Baze; she didn't need to bring down any of her shit on him. Instead, she sat alone in between two large groups of younger students, leaving enough space in between them to not feel boxed in but not enough to fit Leia, Luke, Han, and Wedge. She felt their eyes on her from the other side of the cafeteria but they stayed away. Good, she thought as her stomach twisted itself into knots.

What she hadn't counted on, however, was the willingness of the student body president to break the rules. Just as the bell rang on the blacktop, calling them all to go inside, Leia appeared in front of her, arms crossed. Jyn turned to find Han and Luke to her side, and Wedge behind her, trapping her against the wall. She was surrounded.

"The bell already rang," she told them flatly. "We have to go inside."

They ignored her. "Look, if you don't want to tell us where you were, that's fine," Luke said. "Sorry if it seemed like we were badgering you for the information."

"We just wanted to know if you were okay," Han added, uncharacteristically sincere.

"And it doesn't matter to us where you were, we still want to be your friends," Wedge said.

"Yeah?" Jyn raised an eyebrow, feeling cornered. "Well, I was in juvie," she spat. "Still not matter you?"

"Nope," Wedge said. "We don't care. Right?" He looked at his friends.

"Right," Luke replied. "We still want to be your friend, if you still want to be ours."

Caught off guard, Jyn closed her mouth hard enough to hear her teeth _clack_ together. Her eyes switched from face to face, trying to find some insincerity in their statements.

"Leia?" she asked. The girl's arms were crossed, an unreadable—but cold—expression on her face.

"No one talks to my friends like that," Leia said flatly, then turned and walked back towards the classroom.

Wedge sighed, giving Jyn an apologetic look.

"I'll go talk to her," Han said.

"No, you won't," Luke said, catching him by the back of the shirt. "I will."

"Fine," Han said, looking slightly put out. He turned to Jyn as Luke ran after his sister. "Don't mind Leia. She's just protective sometimes."

"We still really do want to be your friends," Wedge said earnestly. "And Leia will come around."

"Yeah, fine," Jyn said. "We'd better get back to the classroom." They caught up to Luke and Leia just as they were entering the doors, making it appear as if they were coming in as one big group.

"And just where have you five been?" Mr. Draven asked as they came through the doorway. "It's five minutes past the bell. I was about to call the office and have them send out search parties." Jyn couldn't tell if he was exaggerating or not as she slunk to her desk.

"We were cleaning up the balls," Han said casually. "The third graders who like playing basketball left a ton of them lying around, so we collected them and put them back in the bins. Wouldn't want them to blow away; it's very windy today."

Draven stared at him. Han stared right back.

"Fine," Mr. Draven said. "But next time, please inform me before you do it so that I know where you are."

"Will do," Han said amiably, sliding into his seat. He shot a lopsided grin and a wink at Jyn while the teacher's back was turned, and somehow Jyn felt her own lips twitch upwards in response.

When the school day was over, the boys were quick to say her goodbye and race out the doors toward freedom, while Jyn took a bit longer to pack due to the sheer amount of makeup work scattered across her desk. Putting the last folder in her backpack, she looked up to find Leia standing at the corner of her desk.

"I thought you left with the guys," Jyn said, tone neutral but guarded.

"No, I...wanted to talk to you," Leia answered.

"Okay." Jyn pulled her backpack over one shoulder.

"No one talks to my friends like that," Leia said all in a rush, cheeks tinged with pink. "But...you're my friend too, and we were pushing you really hard about something personal that you obviously didn't want to talk about, so...no one treats my friends like that either." She stopped, waiting for Jyn to say something, except Jyn didn't know what.

"I'm not very good at that," Jyn said finally. "Being nice, or whatever."

Leia laughed. "Han's not very good at tact and I'm not very good at letting go of grudges, as you saw. There's always stuff we can learn from each other."

"I'm twelve and in sixth grade," Jyn said. "I'm not very good at learning stuff either."

"Want help?" Leia offered. "I can totally go to tutoring with you after school, or—wait, do you want to come to my house? We can do homework and then play games or something."

"I don't know if I can…" Jyn said. "I'm supposed to go to tutoring after school, and I don't have a way to ask Chirrut and Baze…"

"Don't worry, my dad can call them and ask, and I'm sure they'll let you come," Leia said confidently.

Jyn thought about exactly how much she did _not_ want to go to tutoring today—or, more specifically, see Cassian. "Okay," she said.

"Great," Leia grinned, pulling her towards the classroom door. "I even have a 'No Boys Allowed' sign I can put up on the door of my room so that Luke can't come in and we can have girl time."

"Girl time?"

"You don't know how long I've waited for another girl to join this friend group so that I could have a best friend," Leia said. "Wayyyy too much testosterone sometimes, you know?"

"Best friend?" Jyn asked, bewildered, but Leia was already sprinting across the lawn towards where Luke stood next to a tall man with curly light brown hair.

"DAD!" Leia shouted as she neared them, Jyn taking one more second to be confused before running after her. "Can you call Jyn's parents and see if it would be okay if she came over to do homework at our house?"

"Sure," the man said, pulling out his phone. "Hi Jyn, I'm Anakin Skywalker, Leia and Luke's father. Do you know their number?"

"No," Jyn said, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"You have it, Dad, it's Chirrut and Baze," Leia informed him impatiently. Her father nodded and began dialing.

"How do you know Chirrut and Baze?" Jyn asked.

"We've dog-sat Kyber a couple times," Luke grinned.

"Here, he wants to talk to you," Mr. Skywalker said, handing Jyn his phone.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Just wanted to check in and make sure you actually want to go," said Chirrut's warm voice on the other end of the line.

"Yeah...yeah, I do," Jyn said honestly.

"That's good. I'm glad you're making friends. Just make sure to do your homework before you play, and you have a lot of makeup work to do so it'll be back to tutoring tomorrow," he told her.

"Okay," Jyn agreed. She handed the phone back to the twins' dad, who listened for a few seconds before saying goodbye and hanging up.

"All right, kids, get in the car," he said, sliding open the door to the minivan and letting them all clamor into the seats. "I guess we're having a playdate."

"Dad!" Luke whined. "We're almost in middle school. Playdates are for little kids."

Mr. Skywalker reached back and ruffled Luke's hair into a mess. "You'll always be my little kid, sorry Luke."

"Daaaad!"


	12. Is He a Jedi?

**Special thanks to Nadia.156502 for your lovely review and reminding me to post this!**

* * *

Luke and Leia's house was _big_. Jyn had thought Chirrut and Baze's house large and open, at least in comparison to Saw's, but this was spacious and airy and _huge_. Luke and Leia hopped out of the back of the minivan like it was nothing, running up the front steps toward an ornate set of double doors. "Come on, Jyn!" Leia called behind her. Mr. Skywalker walked up behind them and unlocked the door, pushing it open from above their heads to allow the stampede of Luke and Leia through. After kicking off their shoes-an action which Jyn copied, watching them do it-Leia dragged her up a curved staircase directly to their right.

The inside of Leia's house was no less imposing, with no clutter and furniture made of a dark wood that stood out against the off-white of the walls. Jyn only saw glimpses as they flashed by until Leia dragged her past he upstairs balcony and into a hallway that finally looked a little more lived in. "This is Luke's room," Leia said, pushing a door open with her foot and allowing them both to peer inside. A Nerf gun lay on the floor in one corner, and some clothes in a heap in the other. On the desk was a laptop that looked like it had been lobotomized a bit, sitting in several different pieces with its circuitry showing.

"Hey, that's my room!" Luke yelled, coming up behind them. Jyn backed away immediately but one look at the boy's face and she knew there was no malice behind it.

"Luke's just embarrassed that his room's such a mess," Leia said, both loudly and conspiratorially.

"Am not," Luke rolled his eyes.

"What would Mom say if she knew a guest was here and your room looked like this?" Leia teased.

"Jyn's not a guest, she's a _friend_ ," Luke replied.

"Luke, just because she's your friend doesn't mean she's not a guest," Mr. Skywalker called from downstairs. "Pick up your room, please."

"Ha." Leia grinned before pulling Jyn further along the hallway. "Bathroom," she pointed to it as they passed. "And my room." She flipped a blank sign hanging off a pushpin over, revealing the words on other side-No Boys Allowed-and then pushed the door open.

Leia's room was painted a pale pink, but the kind that didn't seem girly so much as giving it a regal, sophisticated sort of feel. That is, until Jyn spotted a matching Nerf gun to Luke's hanging on a peg on the wall. A plush white circular throw rug lay on the already carpeted floor next to the bed, which Leia immediately sat down on, setting her backpack on the floor. The door slammed shut behind them.

Jyn tentatively sat down next to her, pulling open her own backpack.

"So, homework first?" Leia asked.

Jyn nodded. "Math or spelling?"

The other girl shrugged. "Whichever you want. I'm great at spelling, so I could definitely help you. I have to get help from Mom or Dad sometimes with math, but I still beat Luke's scores most of the time!" She grinned mischievously.

"Spelling, then," Jyn pulled the worksheets out. There were twelve of them in total, the ones that had been assigned today plus a week's worth of makeup work. She looked up defensively when she felt Leia staring at her.

"That's a lot," the girl said solemnly, eyes large and brown. "We'd better get started."

—

By the end of two hours' work, Jyn had decided that Leia's kind, enthusiastic tutoring was more helpful than Kay's infuriating version, but not necessarily more efficient than Cassian's steady flow of information. It might have something to do with the way Leia occasionally did something that caused her to burst out in giggles and Jyn to smile, at first uncertainly but then more comfortably as the minutes wore on.

There was a knock at the door. "Come in!" Leia shouted. And then, as an afterthought, "If you're not Luke!"

This time Jyn did not laugh at Leia's antics though some part of her wanted to, suddenly too anxious about the unknown person on the other side of the door. It swung open to reveal a shorter woman with long brown hair twisted up in a complex knot of braids at the back of her head. She wore highly formal-and fancy-clothing but a kind smile, looking every bit like she belonged in this large, regal house. She set down the two glasses of yellow liquid she was carrying on the desk and turned back to the girls still sitting on the bed with their homework-mostly Jyn's-scattered around them.

"Hello Jyn, I'm Leia's mom," the woman greeted her. "You can call me Padme."

"Hi," Jyn said.

"Thanks for the lemonade, Mom," Leia said, standing up to give her a hug. "Aren't you home from work early?"

"My last speaking event was cancelled," Padme replied. "Your father's starting dinner downstairs. Jyn, did you want to stay for dinner? Is it okay with Chirrut and Baze?"

She shook her head, hearing Leia's audible disappointment next to her but continuing on. "I think I'd better go home before then. I don't know quite what the rules are yet and I don't want to make them mad since they've already let me come here."

"I'm sure they won't be mad," Padme said. "I can always call and ask for you?"

"No, really, it's okay," Jyn ducked her head.

"Alright, I can drive you home in about an hour or sooner if you'd like," Leia's mom told her.

Jyn forced her lips to curve upward. "An hour sounds great. Thanks, Mrs.-Padme."

"Of course." The woman exited the room and shut the door softly behind her.

"Mom's a senator in the Republic's Senate," Leia informed her, handing her a glass of lemonade. "That's why the downstairs is so clean. Sometimes she has to have important people over."

Jyn nodded. She knew very little about politics, in this country at least. She had of course received many lectures from Saw about the government of the country to the south, but that had nothing to do with what Leia was talking about. "And your dad?" she asked.

"Used to be a policeman. Now he mostly just stays at home and takes care of Luke and me," Leia replied. "Hey, we've done a lot of work today and you're like three-fourths of the way caught up. Do you want to stop and play some games instead?"

"Sure," Jyn said, picking up all of the papers strewn around and stuffing them in her backpack. "What do you want to play?"

"Do you know chess?"

"No, but I've heard of it."

"Want me to teach you?" Leia asked with a grin.

"Okay," Jyn agreed. The other girl ran to her desk and pulled out a wooden board with diagonal lines of black squares across it and a ziploc bag full of pieces. "This looks...complicated."

"I mean, more complicated than checkers," Leia shrugged. "But you'll get it pretty fast."

After setting up the board, she proceeded to explain the game to Jyn and what all the different pieces did and then resoundingly obliterate Jyn within five moves in their first game.

"Sorry," Leia said, sounding suspiciously un-sorry. "I promise you'll get better. I've been playing since I was four with my mom."

"Go again," Jyn said, setting up the board for round two and absentmindedly biting her lower lip in concentration. Despite getting beaten no contest in the first game, there was something she liked about chess-the challenge of it, and the number of combinations possible with such a variety of pieces. They started to play again.

"You don't want to do that," Leia warned her as she moved her horse piece up and to the side.

"Why?" Jyn asked, and then spotted the danger herself. "Oh, right." She chose a different place, earning a swift nod and a frown of concentration from the other girl.

" _LEIA ORGANA_ ," boomed Anakin Skywalker's angry voice from somewhere downstairs. Jyn jumped, and Leia immediately went stock-still, cheeks paling by two shades.

Down below, they could faintly hear Padme saying something, and then silence. Then the thump-thump of someone climbing the stairs. Leia's doorknob turned and the door opened.

"I'm sorry for yelling, Leia," Mr. Skywalker said in a much softer, more tired voice, one hand making a frustrated sweep through his light brown curls.

Leia nodded, suddenly formal. "It's okay, Dad." Jyn stayed silent and unmoving, watching the exchange with confusion.

"Why didn't you unload the dishwasher last night like I asked you to?" he asked.

"I got distracted and forgot," Leia said evenly, body still filled with unnatural stiffness. "Sorry, Dad. It won't happen again."

Mr. Skywalker nodded, glanced at Jyn with a hint of embarrassment, and then withdrew. The door shut behind him.

Leia didn't look at her, eyes focused downward toward the chessboard, the pawn she was about to move rubbed back and forth in between her fingers. Jyn's body remained taut and strung, ready for a fight that didn't seem likely to come. "You're probably wondering what that was about," Leia said, mouth fixed in a straight, unhappy line.

"Not really," Jyn almost said. Because all Mr. Skywalker had done was yell, and he'd even _apologized_ for it… Saw had done a lot more than that. But maybe other families that weren't preparing to overthrow another country's government didn't yell at each other like that. Besides, much more concerning was the way Leia had tensed up, not the actual shouting. So instead, Jyn shrugged, remaining silent.

"I'm not supposed to tell people about this because of Mom's job, but best friends-future best friends-tell each other everything. You can keep a secret, right?"

Jyn nodded and then, realizing Leia wasn't looking at her, said, "Right."

Leia took a deep breath, then continued, more resolute this time, like she was reciting a string of well-practiced words. "My dad has some anger issues. It was worse when I was a lot younger. He and my mom separated for a while, it got so bad, and the custody battle got fierce enough that for a few years we mostly lived with our Uncle Bail. But he's working on it now, and it's gotten a lot better. He's a good dad...he tries to be." She looked up. "I know he's trying. And I try to be good enough that he won't have to get mad, but sometimes I forget things...like the dishwasher..." She suddenly looked defensive, curling her knees up to her chest and a new defiance entering her gaze. "It doesn't happen often."

Jyn nodded. "I understand."

Leia glanced at her before quickly looking away again. "I know...I know my family's not normal. We just have...history."

"I'm a foster kid. I've never known 'normal,'" Jyn said. She hesitated, then scooted a bit closer to Leia, whose perfect life and house and family maybe hadn't been as perfect as she thought. "I'm glad you told me."

Leia smiled. "Me too." She placed the pawn she had been holding down on the board, deftly taking one of Jyn's. Jyn quickly lost another two, although progressively longer, games. On the start of the fifth, the other girl leaned toward her with mischief in her eyes. "Want to switch it up a bit? When Luke and I get bored, we play Assassin Chess. Except he always beats me, so I need more practice."

"Assassin Chess?" Jyn asked.

Leia grinned, lifting the Nerf gun off its peg on the wall. "It's like regular chess, except you get a chance to assassinate any piece that's threatening one of your own after every move." She hefted it, pointed it at the board, and pulled the trigger. Jyn's knight flew off the board with a _ping!_

Jyn looked at the board again, then moved one of her bishops until it was in the path of Leia's queen. The other girl handed her the Nerf gun and Jyn hefted it, testing its weight. She aimed down the sights.

 _Ping!_ Leia's queen exploded off the board. "It took us years to be able to shoot pieces off the board," Leia said in a hushed whisper. She quickly moved a piece and took the gun from Jyn, missing by half an inch this time. Then she handed it back. "Here, do it again." Jyn did, knocking Leia's rook clear to the other side of the room.

Jyn grinned.

"You're a natural," Leia said. "You might be the new champion of Assassin Chess! Wait, we have to keep this a secret-I'll teach you some more, and then you can play Luke and totally blast him out of the water." She cackled. "He won't know what hit him."

"Okay," Jyn agreed, a smile still plastered all over her face.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Padme poked her head inside. "Jyn? Ready to head home?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my stuff," Jyn said.

"I'll come too!" Leia announced, scrambling to her feet and leaving the chess board forgotten on the ground. She looked at Jyn. "We have more plotting to do."

"Plotting?" Padme raised an eyebrow at her daughter.

"Nothing, Mom," Leia replied immediately.

"Mmhmm," Padme hummed with an amused look. "So, did you get much homework done?"


End file.
